Post-gig

Had a wonderful time at the gig on Friday.

We played rather well to a small crowd (about 30 or so) but we had half the place dancing and sliding on the hardwood floor for almost the whole set.

Would love to have had more folks but I need to do a better job of advertising, or at least more time ahead of knowing when the gig was. I guess a week and a half is not quite enough time to let everyone know. :)

I think I played too hard or at least had enough adrenaline that I didn't notice hurting my wrist. It is a bit achy right now but it will go away.

I have a history of tendonitis from working on a computer all day, which I had therapy on a few years ago but it acts up on occasion. I did practice some tonight to see what affect it would have on my playing and it doesn't seem to have any except perhaps if my ride is too close (as it is on my electronic kit).

I seem to have this thing about tom-play that I need to get over. I rarely use them and I am sure there are songs we have that I should use them on. The only songs I am not comfortable with (except Shameless) are the ones with extensive tom work needed.

As JWL says, I should think of it more as a dumbek because I don't seem to have any trouble with playing the songs using the hand drum.

Speaking of which, I need to look up the Pennsic folks (I think Orluk Oasis) and get onto that yahoo group or something if I plan to do it again next year and have places to go (and dancers to play for *wink*).

Ah, drumming (either kit or hand) is such a joy (barring injury of course)...I just want to have a larger audience.

The more people who hear our music, the more people that will want to hear more of it. And I think word of mouth will go a long way.

In the mean time, we are nearing finishing pre-production activities and should be ready in the next month or two for real studio work on the album...wish us luck!

But not to "break a leg" because I need those to play! :)

Freakwitch website
Freakwitch myspace

Forced update

I am now, at knife point, being forced to write this entry.

No, I will not say who it is, but you know him...I mean this person by their reputation, I mean he, err this person, is not someone anyone in the Asylum crowd...I mean not anyone I know knows about.

Um, so here is my post. :)

Actually, I fooled you all! I was not being forced by anyone. Ha!

I am so brilliant! *looks around*

*tap tap tap* Is this thing on?

Wow, I really don't have much to say and I am not sure why. Heck, a year ago I couldn't stop talking about change and how it is important that folks think for themselves and stop following stupid leaders. Or something along those lines.

I have come to realize that I cannot TELL people that by caring and bettering yourself and not poisoning yourself (as much anyways) will not work. Having a positive thought process no matter how shitty everything can be is helpful. But don't lose yourself in the illusion. For it is an illusion to be in a perfect world of bliss and non-comittance.

You have to realize about yourself is that:

A) Hey! I rock!
B) What am I doing to myself that I probably shouldn't and how do I get rid of it?
C) What are the people around me doing that make me want to do these things to myself?
D) If these people make my life better hang with them more!
E) If not, drop them out of your life because you are only hurting yourself by hanging with them.
F) Be the best you, whatever that happens to be
G) Do only things you WANT to do (those include things you NEED to do, otherwise you would starve to death or be miserable in this fucking cold weather!)
H) Think for yourselves.
I) Now that I said that one you don't need anything more from me. :)

Basically, I am living my life to the fullest I can. If something is not going right, I need to either fix it or suck it up if I am too lazy to fix it right now. Of course it is a continuous process because life is so fluid that the solutions you find today are not the solutions of tomorrow.

Anyway, be the best you and I will definitely want to hang around you even more! :)

But don't take my word for it, try it yourself.

Freakwitch gig

Freakwitch is playing a benefit show on Friday evening, Jan 20th, at 10 Mayo St intown Portland.

Show up and hear some fun music!

And to see me play drums! heh

Wow

Ok, I was reading articles about freedom and truth and superhealth and stuff like that.

I came across this article and my mind is blown.

Please, if you know anyone with AIDS or is HIV+, seriously consider this paper and its implications. Do not absolutely believe it or absolutely disbelieve it. Consider it and dig even further. I have also provided another link with other supporting materials as well as commentaries and dissents.

Requires pdf:
The Chemical Bases of the Various AIDS Epidemics: Recreational Drugs, Anti-viral Chemotherapy and Malnutrition.

http://www.duesberg.com/papers/index.html

Rollercoaster

So I had an up and down weekend this weekend as far as my emotional control or at least my thoughts.

I was on the verge of reverting back to the way I was a year ago. Cocoon myself and pretty much hate myself again because I had feelings of insecurity and lack of self-worth.

It is not easy feeling rejected or boring or unstimulating. Which I was.

I also don't like feeling helpless, which is also something I went through.

I also realized that I am not in control of myself as I led myself to believe. Mainly because things were going my way and my armor was pretty and shiny! Now that the real chinks are laid bare once more, I felt like giving up or becoming a shell once more.

But I have been processing most of that today and it feels as if I am breaking out of that idea.

I still have this over-active imagination thinking that my self-worth is directly correlated to other people and how they see me. And really it isn't, but it sure is nice to validate it once in a while when people want to spend time with me.

I kept going through all these scenarios and what-ifs on who I really am and why people reject me. Still not really sure why that is but for the most part I think it has a lot to do with all the feelings and idea that they are having and they are blocking anything good that might come there way, especially someone like me. :)

Now, I am pretty out-going when it comes to people I hang out with and get along with and I have been getting much better at dealing with people other than my friends. I still have the self-conscious thing on occasion when I TRY to impress someone or want to hang out with someone. And I know that formula all too well. It doesn't work.

I really need to get back to being myself all the time. It shouldn't matter what other people think and what is really important is being genuine. My friends are my friends because they know me for who I am. Anyone else that doesn't want to know me because of that is mere chattel.

Sure, that sounds condescending, but why should I surround myself with people who don't like me? Or people who don't know a good thing when they see it? :)

Who is or isn't in my life will work itself out one way or another.

I just like to know who they are. :)

And I look forward to finding someone that I can be intimate with that enjoys me for me and not some icon or false idea of me. I think I was TRYing to be something other than myself partially and it made it difficult to reconcile that with how she thought of me and how I really am.

Live and learn, or else! :)