BlackLion's Den

Dream Life

2012-01-24T19:24:00.001-05:00

Have you ever considered living your life like a dream where everything you wish for comes true? Pay attention to your words and thoughts, they have the power to create worlds.

Be love

2012-01-16T16:40:00.002-05:00

Be at peace in your life. You are a direct link to infinite love. You are love. The essence of you existence in this physical body is to live led by your love light. No matter where you find yourself or in whatever situation you are in begin here and now to focus on what brings you the most joy. Know that all that exists is a form of energy. Let that energy shower down upon you and invigorate you. In the next moment, imagine another energy filling you to the brim with joy and love. Continue this practice every day as often as you think of it. Release control and let the energies of your desires fill you up. Become that which you most aspire to be. Release the need for judgment, worry, doubt, and fear. You are love. Be love in all your ways. Be love.

Daily Practice

2012-01-11T10:25:00.000-05:00

Hi again!

Happy New Year and all that. :)

I feel that transformation is a continuous process. We can sometimes get stuck in the same loop, yet also make leaps and bounds up the spiral with just a new way of thinking. With a regular practice of introspection and meditation, you can also transform your life even more quickly. I have been intermittently doing these practices and I feel it is time to make introspection a regular practice.

I have been doing morning pages - three pages of journaling each day - on an irregular basis and I feel that it is a helpful tool. I will be doing this on a daily basis when I wake up in the morning. My daily spiritual practice, a one-card reading from the Tarot along with push-ups, sit-ups and visualization, has also been going well too. I really enjoy this daily ritual with Starcat.

Meditation is a practice I wish to continue on a daily basis. Whether guided or simply timed, I find this practice to be uplifting to my spirit. I also think that blogging here will be a way to remain connected to you all as well as a way to express my deep creativity and love. I feel this is a great space to communicate my thoughts by simply allowing them to flow through me into the universe. What do you all think?

Anyway, I am going to make some breakfast and later, make some potato-leek soup for the homeschool group tonight. It is a yummy recipe that we enjoy. My weekly bread baking is going very well. I am up to 6 loaves a week, two of which I share. On the first day, a loaf and a half is eaten fresh from the oven. I guess the family really enjoys my bread! :)

Blessings to you all!

If you have any questions or would like some feedback, let me know privately or through this blog. I assume that the reply function is working again. If not, let me know through facebook.

ttfn!

Holiday Celebrations

2011-12-25T23:51:00.000-05:00

I have had quite the busy week. I have celebrated Yule and Christmas many times over this week and loving the whole journey. I am thankful for my wonderful community and I am glad to have seen all you beautiful people!

In the past, I was quite the humbug. Mostly because I got so caught up in the buy-buy-buy, I never really relaxed and enjoyed the giving part. I then got burned out of the whole process and felt like it was too commercial and had no spirit in it any more. Now I find meaningful gifts without worrying about all the hype. I used to have quite the guilty conscious if I didn't match or better the gifts I was receiving.

Now I give because it feels good to do so. If I find something beautiful and want to give it, I do. If I don't find anything that I would enjoy giving, I do not. I love every one of my friends and family yet I do not feel obliged to give necessarily. I share by hugs, kisses, cooking, cleaning, laughing, reminiscing, thankfulness, and spending time together.

I try to give my holiday cheer all year round! I am very thankful for all the love and support I have received this year and I look forward to paying it forward even more as my life transforms into something even more beautiful than it has been! I look forward to the ever-evolving life that I lead. I look forward to sharing so much more with you all. I am thankful for all of your energy and I hope to expand the world and create more love, joy, and peace the around the world!

Blessings and Love
BlackLion of the Stars

New Place to Chat

2011-12-12T17:09:00.000-05:00

I had a great experience online chatting with some very interesting folks. The topics ranged from the nature of time, to organic and spiritual farming, to the many flavors of hummus, and to Arabic cuisine.

Not to mention all the wonderful being myself without boundaries. I learned quite a bit and I am glad to have been able to express my spiritual viewpoints. I rather enjoyed the conversations and I look forward to even more conversations!

If you are interested, the link is here: Spirit Chat LOGIN PAGE The_Mountain

Check it out!

Off to Starcat's Mom's for dinner and Elf! :)

Spirituality as a Way of Life

2011-12-10T11:08:00.001-05:00

I feel really called to help enrich the lives of others by sharing and expressing spirituality as a way of life. I feel that as we each explore more about who we truly are on a spiritual level, we can bring forth these gifts into the world. As we each express our true selves to the world, we can become more and more connected to ourselves, our world, and each other.

Peace comes from being connected to our spiritual selves and seeing the world through the eyes of love, joy, and happiness. Sharing ourselves in an open and uplifted way allows others to see themselves as beautiful spiritual beings as well. We are all beautiful gifts for the world, we simply need to unwrap ourselves from all the structure, lessons, and authority that no longer serve us.

If you are inclined, take a deep look within yourself and find the glowing center of your being. Communicate and learn from the lessons it has to offer. Realize that you can live the life of your dreams by following your calling. Each of us has the opportunity to change the world for the better by being who we really are. Be who you are, everyone else is taken. :)

Love and blessings!

On Occupy Wall Street and Spirit

2011-11-27T12:15:00.001-05:00

What are the commonalities between the 99% and the 1%? Whatis the spiritual component of the OWS movement?

I have noticed a great deal of focus on the lack ofprosperity and lack of power that many in this movement have. I feel there is agreat opportunity to include spiritual connection. We are all divine beingsexperiencing and creating our lives how we know best. By recognizing the divinenature in each of us, we can better connect and speak truth to power.

By focusing on the lack of influence, power, and wealth, Ifeel that those in the Occupy movement who feel this way are doing a disservice tothe intentions behind the movement. The more you focus on the lack of what youwant, the more you will receive the lack of it. If instead the focus was onways to reconcile the needs and desires of the whole, the transformationalnature of this movement can expand and include all folks from all walks oflife.

To change the world, we must each change ourselves first. Byembodying our true spiritual intentions, each of us changes the world for thebetter. Embracing our differences and acknowledging that we all want toexperience life to its fullest is a noble goal. Peaceful and self-empoweredpeople change the world, allowing each of us to connect with people ofdifferent faiths, ethnicities, and financial abilities.

I live the life that I choose being mindful of my connectionwith All-That-Is. Encouraging others to recognize their connection with theuniverse and each other can only lead to more open discussions, creativity,connection and empowerment for all. Transformation is imminent and I amthankful for the open and frank discussions that shine the light on new ways ofcommunity and discourse.

Making of a Feast

2011-11-25T11:25:00.001-05:00

I am very excited about my life! We had a joyful Thanksgiving feast with family and I really had a blast making all the yummy foods that I shared.

First, on the day before, I took the bountiful vegetables that we had, cabbage, sweet potato, celeriac, carrots, parsnips, and onions and I made a stock. The large pot we have was nearly brimming with these tasty morsels. After an hour or so, I took half the veggies and stock and put them in another large pot. The rest I let stay below simmer on the back burner for a while longer.

Next came the afternoon soup, a lovely new creation with tomato, rosemary, dill, and other lovely spices along with all the vegetables and stock I put in the new pot. It came out quite lovely!

After that was done, my stock was ready. I drained the stock and froze it for the next round of whatever I will make, it would be great use for another soup, sauce, or whatever comes to mind.

Well, since I had all these lovely vegetables that were strained from the stock, I decided to use them in my stuffing for Thanksgiving. I also made my usual, mostly, stuffing recipe along with these flavorful veggies. I took a loaf of my sourdough sandwich bread that I made earlier in the week and ElvenTiger and I broke it up into bite size pieces, mixed it with the veggies and added the stuffing liquid, which was filled with savory flavors like sage and marjoram.

Since I had some of that stuffing liquid left over, I decided to save it for the seitan that I made on Thanksgiving morning. There is an au jus-like sauce that the seitan loaf is basted in and the base for that was from the stuffing liquid.

And finally, after the seitan was finished, I took the juice of that and mixed it into the gravy to top the whole thing.

Needless to say, it was delicious!

I wonder if next year I can find a way to incorporate it into the pumpkin pie! Nah, I will leave that to the professional dessert makers aka Starcat. :)

I am filled with gratitude for all of the feasting that I have learned to create and I look forward to even more oven adventures. I am actually quite excited about offering an International Cooking class at the homeschool co-op next session. Plus, Starcat and I are also planning to put out a cookbook of all new simple and yummy vegetarian recipes. Not sure of the timing yet, but I am sure we will let you know!

Blessings and Love,
BlackLion

Staying Connected

2011-11-20T16:59:00.001-05:00

I have been focusing on staying connected to my Source today. My focus has been to keep my spiritual muscles in-tune with my highest ideals so that whatever I am doing, I can feel great doing it!

I have come to realize that the only way to get what I truly want out of life is to continue to focus on what I truly want out of life. I really enjoying being happy, blissful, successful, abundant, loved, and so many other things. I enjoy focusing on all of those aspects of life and I am glad to be able to focus even more fully on them.

All the tools and techniques that I have learned over my life have really come to be ready and available ways to reconnect if something throws me off out of my connection. Thankfully, I know for sure that I can get right back into the flow of life and reconnect once more.

As I continue to focus on Feline Dreamers and my coaching, I feel that it is even more beneficial to myself and others to stay in this frame of mind. Here is my little map that I am using:

Me --> Source --> Everything else

See, when I connect to my Source, my eternal soul, my spirit, or whatever you call yours, I know that it is connected with all other beings and circumstances and everything else, i.e. the Universe. So, as I stay connected with my Source, it is connected with the Source of everything else, therefore, I am connected to all things. When I am disconnected, I am disconnected from everything else as well. So the only true way for me to stay true to my goals and desires, my true callings, is to stay connected. And thus all other cooperative components will come to me because I am connected to them.

Yay, I love being connected!

Blessings to All!

Samhaintide

2011-10-30T20:38:00.001-04:00

Hello again everyone.I am about to sit down for some Skip-Bo with the family on this eve of Samhain. We were to offer our first coven open ritual tonight but the snow flew and it was decided to let this year's pass. I still plan to give tribute to my father who died in June, so I will be holding a private ceremony during the next night or two. This has been a wild week, heck the whole month, and I am thankful for the great performances and camaraderie during the Dark Follies performances this week. I am thankful for all the great fun, creativity, and joy during this span.Ok, the last person is at the table...off to Skip-Bo-Land!Blessings!

You Have the Power to Choose

2011-10-28T01:11:00.002-04:00

Choose right now. In this moment, a thought. What is it? Can you be more specific. Why did you choose this? Does it feel good when you think about it? If yes, continue. If not, ask a simple question. Why?

After that it is up to you. Don't take my word for it. Try it every time you think of it and be. Be who you are and enjoy it. You have the power to choose what you think. Use it when you think of it.

Blessings to you all! :)

BlackLion =".""."=

P.S. Had a great time at the Dark Follies, "The Spirits of Vaudeville." I wonder if I was a ghost, channeling a ghost, or just being myself. Come to the show! :) Lucid Stage is an enjoyable place to perform. :) Thanks!

Call to Love

2011-10-19T23:46:00.002-04:00

I am so thankful for all the great energy that I am feeling around the world. I can sense a shift in consciousness, a shift towards love. I can sense that as we move forward a call to action is in order. I say, this call is a Call to Love. Each of us knows that within us is a beautiful being that loves to share and grow and connect with others and with nature. We all have a sense of purpose, a calling. We have not all heeded that call nor have we listened to our own counsel.

I feel the tide shifting in human consciousness and I feel within myself the urge to share the spiritual path that we each have. I wish to be a guide or signpost to help anyone and everyone who wishes to become who they most want to become. When something feels right to you, you can feel it with your whole being. Equally, you also know when something is off or does not agree with your higher purpose. Whenever you make a choice, seek the answers within before accepting another's answer as your own - no matter how authoritative or knowledgeable they may be. Only you can know what is truly best for you.

I love you all and I will do my best to share what I have learned with you.

Love and Blessings!

Spiritual Man

2011-10-12T00:27:00.004-04:00

Hi again everyone.

I had a thought a few moments ago and wanted to share it. I know I haven't been here for a while, so here I am now. :)

I have, over the past decade or so, become more and more of a spiritual man then ever before. In a sense, I have become more aware of the spiritual nature of being human and I am leveraging that knowledge in everything that I do. Every day, I have the choice to focus on the surface thoughts and emotions, or to explore the deeper soul-based energies that pervade the universe.

Now, to many men, that may seem pretty out there. Let me tell you though, that I still do many of the things I used to do when I was less aware of my spirituality and connected to my source divinity. I watch football, drink alcohol on occasion, hang out with my buds, play sports, and other manly type stuff. But I approach each of these activities with a sort of calm reverence that I either did not have or could not have understood without acknowledging my spiritual side.

In fact, I have come to believe that being in touch with the feminine aspects of my personality, like tenderness, compassion, and intuition, that I am a more balanced and whole being. I am much more in tune with my emotions yet do not let them dictate my actions. I feel that this practice of being balanced in all aspects of my life allows me to be more aware of the parts of myself I want to change or enhance. Additionally, this has created a sense of attunement to other people's emotions and situations that allow me to render assistance and guidance to them. I have always been a great listener and I feel that being centered and achieving an inner balance within myself creates a space for aiding those who also seek a similar sense of balance in their own lives.

With that said, it is my intention to offer spiritual and personal development coaching to those who wish to receive it. I feel that with an honest, open, and purpose-filled approach, I can fulfill a need that exists in my community. I am offering coaching sessions in-person for those in the Southern Maine/New Hampshire area and also through the internet and by phone with those who are further away. As this aspect of my purpose-based business expands, I expect to journey to many different places and speak with many different folks. In addition to coaching, I will continue to offer the wonderful articles, blogs, podcasts, and other products and services that Starcat and I are already transmitting to the world through Feline Dreamers. Make sure to keep those energies in mind as well.

In any event, please do not hesitate to contact me in whatever way you are comfortable with. My email address is blacklion@felinedreamers.net. You can also contact me through the Contact page on the Feline Dreamers website as well as through Facebook.

Thought I have not been super active here on this particular blog recently, I do hope you will continue to come back for more. I am ramping up my outpouring of energies to the universe and I hope to be able to share my unique and fun-filled style of coaching to you. Plus, my winning personality doesn't hurt either. :)

Blessings to you all and I look forward to connecting with you!

Love Begets Love

2011-08-26T19:01:00.001-04:00

To change the world, interact with love to everything you encounter, no matter how grim it may seem. Love is a vibration and every act of love increases love. As the world continues to grow more and more chaotic, how you choose to feel your interacts with the world, the more of that feeling you will receive. Love begets love. Whatever you are focused on begets more of whatever you are focused on.

Will Work for Fun

2011-07-30T22:06:00.004-04:00

Last year at this time I was planning for my 40th birthday party. Now my 41st is right around the corner - where does the time go?

I am so ready to live my right-livelihood. My next step is to find something that is in line with my values that I like to do. Is that too much to ask? Not really. I already do what I like to do without being paid for it.

Anyone want a cook, drummer, programmer, writer, spiritual, and fun guy to hang out with? I am good at lifting things as well as coming up with cosmic possibilities. We can talk quantum physics, football, or whatever. Whatever works in your budget. I also do barter and like-exchange.

Let me know!

Mindful Parenting

2011-07-26T23:10:00.003-04:00

Treat yourself like you would treat a young child. See how much it changes. - BlackLion

I know, I am quoting myself, but hey, why not! I just wrote it! :)

I hope to see all my friends as soon as possible! :) I like you all and enjoy your company!

Children are people, they are just unfamiliar with this particular body. They have just arrived and just freely relinquished all of their previous memories. They are here to try out the coolest new place - now!

So remember when they were babies and they were so cute and cuddly? Feel the same way now? Try it out! Imagine what it would be like if you had never met one.

Bye and peace and love!

Moments of Choice

2011-07-26T10:41:00.005-04:00

Hello again.

I think the process of transformation can take lifetimes yet also take just a moment of clarity and purpose. Depending on your particular path you have created for yourself, you can remain in loops of confusion and frustration while at other times have moments of epiphany that change your life forever in an instant.

I feel that I am in a loop that I created for myself. Yet every once in a while, I find these great ideas appearing apparently out of thin air or triggered by a dream I had. I am now choosing to follow those intuitions and insights, forging ahead through the fears and challenges along the way.

Yes, I do have things I would rather be doing at this point, yet I continue to find ways to get up in the morning and have a great day. With renewed purpose, I find I am much more motivated to work on projects and ideas that I want to see to completion - something I have not been very good at in the past - although as I look back I have accomplished so much!

I hope to be able to continue to offer my thoughts and ideas to the world and manifest them into existence. I expect to have much help along the way and I look forward to meeting and continuing to journey with many folks - some I cannot even imagine at this point.

So, if you will indulge me, I would like to renew my intention to write thoughts on this blog. I do not know which form I will take as I move forward, but I believe sharing insights, thoughts, and inspirations with aid others as well on their paths as well.

Bon voyage! :)

Strawberries!

2011-07-08T00:09:00.003-04:00

Holy cow, it is absolutely beautiful walking into a strawberry field and picking strawberries in the morning sun. We have been strawberry picking for our local community the past few weeks. Starcat's mom used to go strawberry picking each year at a local farm, Doles Orchard in Limington. The orchard is family-owned and are some sweet people.

Anyways, Starcat, ElvenTiger and I went picking for Starcat's mom, aunt, uncle, and another lovely lady, as well as ourselves. Since Starcat's mom hasn't been able to do it this year, we offered to help her out. As barter, we get a flat of strawberries. She is more than happy because the strawberries are excellent.

Ever since then, we have been helping the past three weeks with different folks and their strawberry needs. Speaking of which, the strawberry ice cream (with and without mini chocolate chips) was delicious. Shortcake, cake, and other lovely things smothered in strawberry goodness!

I found out there are plenty of varieties. So far the top one for me is Honeyoye. It has a great strawberry flavor and a smooth finish. Mix it in with some sweeter berries and you have a naturally sweet strawberry sauce that doesn't need much, if any, sweetener. I think I'll try it this week with the new batch. :)

Anyway, I have been quite busy the past week, but I hope to focus more on Feline Dreamers and get back to a regular schedule.

I hope you are all wonderful! I am sure you are, in your own way. :)

Love and Blessings!

P.S. Did I mention cherry and raspberry season is around the corner. Yum!

Staying in the Flow

2011-06-25T20:24:00.005-04:00

Hi all!

I have been quite busy this late Spring, early summer.

First off, I am remaining in the flow of life. When I get hooked into an emotion, I can almost immediately (if not sooner) remain in the flow, or in the Vortex. I have been feeling really connected and in-tune with my energy and its sometimes large amplitudes.

I am thankful for my life and my father. He is going through his death journey. I read stories to him while he was resting today. I love him very much and I am thankful for getting to know him. We will travel together again.

I went tubing for the first time this summer. Was the last round because the rain had started to fall. I had a death grip on the handles and didn't flip. Was quite exhilarating and tiring. Look forward to doing it when it is in the 90's and sunny!

I am integrating our new Yahoo! group "Making Your Life a Masterpiece" into my crazy summer schedule. I want to continue to do the blog challenge I started with Starcat, so I will do my best to keep this place up-to-date.

Love you all!

Blessings!

In the Flow

2011-06-13T15:20:00.003-04:00

Hi again!

I guess I have been in the flow of my life rather than focused on recording the thoughts that I have about my life. I know that I can be short in my updates or lax in my recordings, but I am thankful that I have the chance to return here and share myself with whomever is interested.

I have been going through quite a transformation these past few weeks, and I am very thankful for the love and support of my family and community. I know that all the answers to my questions are available to me - I just have to not be afraid of them!

Fear and doubt have been my main staples throughout my life in varying degrees. I have also been filled with love and joy a great amount of my life too. But when I am in a funk, the world looks rather dark sometimes. I am so thankful that I have learned how to focus on my life and recognize the patterns that I have created for myself.

As I let go of these lingering negative patterns, I open up my chrysalis more and see the beautiful world that has always been right in front of me. Perhaps I am not even cocooned at all and I am simply too afraid to step through the open door agape before me.

What will the future hold? More of the same unless I take that first step. Wait, I have already been stepping. Time to continue stepping forward more often then backward. I am rather enjoying the headspace I am in and I am thankful for all the great opportunities before me.

Stayed tuned and I am sure I will keep you updated. :)

Lovely weekend

2011-06-05T11:00:00.002-04:00

I love making English muffins on a Sunday morning, listening to music, and enjoying the beautiful weather. Up next will be heading to the garden for more plantings and weeding (of course).

I had a wonderful time at my friends' handfasting and wedding yesterday. A lovely reception as well! :) I did manage to control myself since there was an open bar between the handfasting and the wedding. ;)

All in all a lovely weekend so far! :)

Soon, the English muffin dough will finish rising and I will griddle them up, cook some eggs in the rounds and have homemade breakfast sandwiches. I love to cook! :)

Any Jobs Out There?

2011-06-01T14:31:00.003-04:00

I have spent the better half of the late morning and early afternoon looking through possible employment opportunities. I am basically looking for some sort of physics/computer/researcher/teaching/mapping/other cool stuff type gig for the summer.

I want to be able to work part-time, or even full-time from home or part-time in an office/lab/outdoors. Contract or temp or whatever works too.

I want to increase my income (which is nil at the moment) while still creating the life I want. I still want to create beautiful writings, ideas, thoughts, and workshops while supplementing it with a job of some sort until we can get the Feline Dreamers thing ramped up.

Any thoughts?

If you know of anything, please let me know: baron_ [aT] yahoo (D0T) com (do you think that will fool programs? --- not the ones I can make! ;) )

Another Baby Step

2011-05-30T22:16:00.003-04:00

I think the next book I want to read, when I get a copy, is "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, a classic self-improvement type book. I have done some research and found that it is the basis for quite a few other self-help folks. My journey is ongoing, so working with these types of books and inspirational people has helped increase my understanding and love of my own self-improvement.

I believe that our journeys are never complete. We are always growing and expanding and I am very thankful for learning all the time. I feel ready to step up to my next level of dreams and having money be no object is perfect. I have so many great ideas and I am in the midst of spreading the word and sharing with the world.

I have been in a sort of self-imposed exile, in a way, from the rest of the world. I have been having a great time, but the main sticking point, right now, is money. I have been transforming my thoughts about money for some time now and I feel the momentum is increasing.

If anyone who has some investment money that wants to listen to some of my cool ideas, send me a line!

If you just want to chat around a fire, I can do that too. :)

*takes another baby step* :)

Summer's Whisper

2011-05-29T22:16:00.001-04:00

I am sitting here, eating a nectarine and listening to the peepers.

The signs of summer are here!

Eating Fashions

2011-05-28T22:54:00.003-04:00

I am learning to be a locavore. I am growing my own "organic" food and hoping to have enough money this summer to eat at the farmer's markets' buffet!

I could totally go with eating from my local farm's and enjoying their many wares.

Have to scatter because I need to go watch some Buffy and Angel! Oh that's right!

Love you and see you soon!

Also check out my BlackLion's What!?! Blog for a cool article!

Live Free!

Family

2011-05-27T23:44:00.003-04:00

I am so thankful for my family. They are a diverse and wonderful addition to my community. Some of them have been with me from the beginning (obviously), and others have become more and more a part of my daily life.

I feel that having a strong sense of connection with those you spend the most time with is integral to a positive life. Without support and nurturing, we can become stale and bitter. However, with continued exploration of yourself and integrating with your family's dreams and creations, you will find ever-increasing delight.

I know many folks have challenges with their family, and I am glad I have not gone down that path. Sure, sometimes relationships can become strained. These are perfect opportunities to step back and reevaluate your role in your relationships. As we come to recognize what we do love about our family, we can let go of petty slights and disagreements.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Cooking Kind of Day

2011-05-23T17:25:00.002-04:00

So we made spaghetti sauce, banana bread for the gamers, and finished the chives (which I didn't get to yesterday). Guess it is a cooking kind of day, especially since it is quite rainy and dreary out today.

I saw the first leaves of spinach and lettuce coming out of the garden today and the asparagus is going well too. I love this time of year, though I would much prefer sunny days more often. :)

Cooking has become quite a common occurrence in my life. I regularly cook dinner along side Nikki. We enjoy cooking together and making up new recipes. It's a bonding thing as well as a delicious outcome as well!

I hope you are all well, just thought I would stop in and give you an update.

Love!

Chives Round 2

2011-05-22T10:11:00.003-04:00

I was going to post yesterday about the chive adventure that Nikki and I had. We spent about an hour and half cutting chives from our garden into very small pieces, freezing them on a cookie sheet, then bagging them up to give away and use during the year. I would say we harvested about half a pound of these lovely green stalks and processed half of them. We will be having more chives as they grow throughout the year, maybe another batch or two.

Round 2 means I am going to finish the process today, all by myself. She has gone off to an Interfaith Walk to volunteer. I am home with the kiddos and have some house stuff to take care as well.

I like to be a homemaker, except for all the cleaning! ;)

Anyway, I am also looking to lead a class or workshop about personal spirituality, personal development, and the Law of Attraction, all mixed together. I had a dream I was teaching at USM to a bunch of folks. It felt good and a positive way to help enhance the world.

Love!

Flow and a poem

2011-05-20T14:41:00.005-04:00

I am really in the flow with my life right now. I am so thankful for all the contrast that has appeared in my life. It has awakened within me a sense of purpose and intention. I am so thankful for being present and being able to enjoy my life as it is. All the fears and doubts I have experienced in my life were signposts to a greater and deeper understanding of me and my connection to all things.

Here is a poem:

Mists of Time and Illusion

Mists of time and illusion
Flow past my mind
Like knives
Like silk
Easily
Tragically
A dance with life
A dance with my soul
A dance with shadow
Bright ideas
Painful memories
Asking for guidance
Giving advice
Pointing fingers
Holding hands
When I dance
I dance with all
When I dance
I dance alone
Mists of time and illusion
I am

Caught Up In Other People's ...

2011-05-19T19:06:00.000-04:00

Why is it that I can get so caught up in other people's assholeness?

Why is it important to me that people be nice or kind?

Perhaps it would be better to let them go from my life then to try to come to any sort of agreement. Can I agree to people being assholes to me and I can still be kind to them? Perhaps.

Do I have the energy and ability to do so? I don't know.

Not yet anyways.

Guess I am still a work in progress.

Sash-time

2011-05-16T23:11:00.002-04:00

I had the great opportunity to hang out with my lovely friend Sashier. I had a sleepover and pajama party too! Well, I had PJs anyways. ;)

We got to hang out and watch movies, play games, have some yummy food, and fun conversation. All in all a fun time!

It has been a long time since we had the chance to hang out together since his school keeps him rather busy. He has an exciting trip to the Shetland Islands this week for school and I hope he has a great time.

In the mean time, I am working on my writing and doing some websites and other computer stuff for some folks I know.

Plus I have been really focused on being present. From my perspective, it is amazing. Try it out and let me know how it goes!

LOVE!

Dance the Night Away

2011-05-14T13:08:00.003-04:00

We're heading out to watch Dryst's lacrosse games soon followed by a dancing adventure in New Hampshire. Dark Star Orchestra is coming to Hampton Beach and we will be dancing our tushies off all night! I look forward to it! :)

I really love to dance. Most music is fun to dance to and I like to spend a night out with only the present moment to worry about. The freedom of movement and thought is enlivening!

So, turn up the tunes and boogie woogie all night long! ;)

<3

Fresh Chives and Pizza Dinner!

2011-05-13T20:11:00.003-04:00

I am in the middle of making pizza for the family. We added fresh chives from the garden! They taste so sweet and awesome. They have been living with us for the past 4 years and they love it here, especially in the sunshine. We can get a great yield out of them, sometimes 3 in one year. We'll see how it turns out this time around.

The pizza came out of the oven and looks great. Check out my BlackLion's What for other Dryst sightings...

Love you!

Letter for Change

2011-05-11T22:15:00.000-04:00

I was inspired to look for some non-profit work I can do this summer. I found one and sent them this introductory letter:

***

The only way to change the world is to be the change you want to see.

I want to help people change the world. I want to change the world. I believe that offering my many talents and thoughts as well as helping guide others who also seek to offer their talents and thoughts will change the world.

Every day, we each have a choice to feel good or to not feel good about ourselves, our community, and our world. The actions we choose to follow are based on our love or on our fear. I choose love.

I want everyone to live in a world of peace, love, community, communication, reverence, and opportunity. As we each seek to become the beautiful people that we all are, we expand the universe and create the world in our own image.

I am seeking to become a member of this community and help create awareness, change, self-improvement, and a community to share on this earth.

Thank you for your consideration!

***

What do you think? I think it is spoken from a deeper part of me that wants to change the world for the better.

I got a call back this afternoon and will be visiting them tomorrow. Yay! :)

Casual Gardening

2011-05-10T16:06:00.004-04:00

So I am getting ready to dig up the weeds from the garden, last year's as well. We have lettuce and spinach to start plus asparagus roots. We have been wanting to put in asparagus since we started this whole gardening thing a few years ago and now we have it!

I have just laid out the hexagonal patterns for the beds, per "How To Grow More Vegetables..." by John Jeavons. I am very excited about putting in the new plants and I look forward to putting together the rest of the garden when it is warmer.

We will be doing bush beans for the first time this year. We decided to cut back on the types of plants we are putting in, using only the ones that seem to work well in our soil. We have a compost bin that has some nice aged compost from the past few years. I plan to start a new bin and skim the top foot or so from the current one (with the fresher compost) and start fresh (so to speak). Quester plans on helping put a new bin together.

The only thing about gardening, for me, is weeding and digging up the old beds. I just don't have a lot of motivation to do so except the results... lots of fresh veggies! So I will do it, I just tend to wait until the last minute. This week I plan on putting in the spinach and lettuce and towards the end of the week I will put in the asparagus.

One of the things I have found about using Jeavons book is the amount of weeding I need to do over the course of the year is significantly less than I thought. Which, for me, as a casual gardener(TM), is great! I am glad I have help with some of the tasks and I hope the whole process will be able to be expanded once I find some more motivated people to help out.

Is there anyone out there that wants to help out and learn about organic raised bed intensive gardening? Come get your hands dirty! Send me a message and I am sure we can arrange something. Plus you will get a portion of the harvest, of course, too! Nothing like a fresh garden salad!

Alright, guess I will start working on the other bed designs. I will post a few pictures of them once I take some. :)

Blessings!

Be Present

2011-05-09T16:55:00.001-04:00

When I have a joy-filled day, I love to remember it and mark it as an occasion. Then I realize that if I focus just on that moment, all the other beautiful moments slip on by. The same is true when I focus on my past anger, pain, resentment, or worry. Whenever I forget myself and the present moment, I just disappear and whatever I’m focused on takes over.

One of the techniques I use is mindfulness. Relax into the now, focused on how your body feels, your breathing, your environment, the temperature, the other people in the room, the cars, books, cats, and dogs, or whatever is happening in your present moment. Right now I am sitting still after a nice day of beach walking, on a “marble beach” as Starcat calls it. We had a fun time.

Oops, there I go again!

Being in the moment can be a challenge sometimes. Just remember that you are doing the best you can. Relax and be where you are right now, no matter the situation. The ego doesn’t have any power over you, especially when you can call it out at its own game. When you notice the ego ready to go for another round, it loses all its steam immediately, and you appear once again into the present moment.

Enjoy yourself!

The Dance

2011-05-08T22:29:00.001-04:00

When we dance
We dance together
All in harmony
All in symphony
To the music of Life

Leggo My Ego

2011-05-07T22:05:00.005-04:00

I am learning all sorts of new things that my ego has been blinding me with.

It's unbelievable really.

I could be enjoying myself playing a game and BAM - an ego attack!

I take offense to something someone says or I forget what I was doing and go into some story about myself, them, a previous situation, or for no explicable reason. Then I am in the story, lost to whatever I was doing.

Then, I come back.

I have learned so many new ways to stop my ego from taking over and I have blissfully enjoyed the results.

Ok, so I am in a cool space, which means I want to write here. :)

Keep in touch!

<3

Focus and Time

2011-05-06T21:03:00.004-04:00

Hi everyone,

As the saying goes, "Where did the time go?"

Then again, I loved every minute of it!

I hope I can find the same enthusiasm for this blog and for the BlackLion'S What!?! blog that I have for all the other wonderful people in my life. If you are still here, which I can see not many of you are, I am still here and I love you!

I think replies are now implemented, let me know if it isn't. ;)

I also want to rededicate myself to the podcast once I can get a computer down in my Den. I had fun making them, now I can enjoy editing them too. B)

Here is a BlackLion Thought:

="@"=

Remember to focus on your now, then the world is timeless.

=".""."=

Blessings and Love,
BlackLion

Lil Update

2011-04-16T20:23:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone,

I haven't been posting on here recently. I have been focused on experiencing rather than documenting. I plan to put up a few cool ideas soon. Instead, check out my new podcast BlackLion's What!?! and of course Feline Dreamers for other articles.

The readership on this blog has gone down quite a bit, so we'll see if anyone still is paying attention. :)

Love you!

New Podcast!

2011-03-29T15:16:00.001-04:00

Hi everyone!

I have just put together my first podcast for BlackLion's What!?!

You can find the RSS feed link right here:
http://www.felinedreamers.com/bw/blacklionswhat.rss

Let me know what you think!

I plan to have more each week.

Cronk!

50/50

2011-03-26T19:40:00.004-04:00

Do you consider yourself when you make decisions?

I guess my question is about whether you take your best interest first when making any decision or do you tend to regret a decision after you choose it?

So what is the ratio of "good"/"bad" decisions that you make?

I think I am on the cusp, 50/50, definitely leaning toward 60/40.

I sometimes hear my inner wisdom and sometimes I do not.

Then again, depending on the subject, my ratio is much more in-line with what I like, say 70/30 or something like that. Other subjects, which can be quite obvious to others, and later is obvious to me, I am 30/70.

I think that the more I believe in myself and follow my instincts the better I feel overall. I get a boost of energy. I see the world in a more positive light. So, why do I choose not to do these things?

I think it is a matter of practice. As I focus on what I like and feel good about, I see how life can easily transform itself to benefit me even more.

I am ready to choose what feels good to me and look for more and more ways to do so.

I guess having some cookies would go against that, but, if I can feel good about it...genuinely feel good, then I will do so. Otherwise I won't. Or at least only have a couple. :)

In any event, does anyone else feel that way?

I have allowed comments on the blog, hoping that the bots won't spam me too much!

Love!

Reweaving Your Illusions

2011-03-20T12:50:00.002-04:00

We are enshrouded by the most visceral of illusions created by the most influential and powerful illusionists, ourselves. With every thought and feeling, we weave amazing and picturesque scenes of love and hate, fear and strength, compassion and healing. We are each our own creators and our own taskmasters. We choose to live in a prison or a paradise. We are our own greatest ally and our own worst enemy. How we each choose to believe, whether our own designs or translations of what others have believed, is what we choose to experience.

In what ways can we change what we perceive and experience, then? First, accept that you are responsible for everything that is in your life. You are the creator of your own experience. You are the glorious founder of your own expectations. You welcome the energies into your life and you can expel them just as easily. How you transform your life from here on out, based on the knowledge and expertise that you have, will be what you will discover next.

Do you seek something different? Then choose to focus on something different. Do you want to experience life in a joyful way? Choose to think joyfully of your life right now. Do you want to experience more abundance? Choose to see the abundance already all around you. By choosing the way you want to exist, you will serendipitously discover how to exist in those ways. You are unlimited in your capacity for love, hate, fear, and joy. How you choose to experience your life is entirely up to you.

Every moment, you have the opportunity to express your life the way you most want. As you take each step on your path to self-discovery, you will continue to grow and expand the possibilities for expression and living. Weave your life as a masterpiece. Choose to take the illusions that you no longer want and make them disappear. Make manifest your dreams by willing them to be here simply by focusing on them. As you move more and more towards the light of your new day, know that you are the master of your own illusions and that only you have the power to change them. Revel in your immense personal and elegant power!

Chrysalis Cracked

2011-02-22T23:20:00.000-05:00

I love to be able to put all the years of seeking, searching, studying, researching, floundering, denying, and disbelieving to good use!

I have had such a great week of self-discovery and I look forward to being able to share this with everyone! :)

How about now?

I have come to realize that I have created deep grooves in my energy. Essentially, I have realized that by doing the things that I do, I create a pattern of energy, or a resonance, that keeps bringing me back into the safe and familiar. Not necessarily enjoyable, but definitely safe from new and scary discoveries and familiar, like sniffing the air and saying, "Yup, that's a skunk."

So the patterns that I have created for myself are the ones I keep coming back to. Yet, when I am being mindful of the moment, I am no longer restricted by these patterns. I have awakened to my own illusions. As my metamorphosis continues and my chrysalis keeps revealing more of my truth, I will keep everyone posted through this blog, the Feline Dreamers website, our forthcoming books, articles, podcasts, tweets, etc. and in person if anyone wants to talk. :)

Please contact me and tell me about yourself. I may know you, or of you, but I am interested in what you have to teach me.

Love and Blessings,
BlackLion

Mindful Moments

2011-02-13T20:33:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I get into the groove of my life and forget to document it, at least on my blog. Other times I am much more prolific with my writing. I also have a dream journal and a daily three-page stream-of-consciousness journal as well.

So what's the big idea not documenting?

Well, I choose to do what feels right in the moment. Right now, I am writing to you all. Later I will be doing something else. :)

I have been more in the now recently. I have deliberately chosen to focus on what feels good to me - seeking a better feeling thought in each moment. I have been quite successful in my venture and I am looking forward to each moment with eager anticipation.

As I continue down this path of mindfulness, I expect to see changes in my life heretofore unknown, or at least well anticipated. Forging ahead, I am research literary agents for our books, first with the Book of Ing and continuing with our other partially complete manuscripts. We may even go the route of putting the Core Belief Kit to print when it is completed (rather than self publishing). Time will tell.

In any event, I look forward to where my path will lead and the beautiful and wonderful people I will meet along the way. Please spread the word about the company Nikki and I have created, Feline Dreamers. We are continuously updating the web site and creating new ideas.

Feline Dreamers will be presenting a Joyshop called "Your Life is Your Masterpiece" at the Life Rocks! Radical Unschooling Conference on April 11th-15th in North Conway, NH. Hope you can make it!

We are planning more events as the year progresses! Look forward to seeing all you happy people! :)

Love and blessings!

What am I doing?

2011-02-08T21:59:00.002-05:00

Hi :)

I am still curious as to why I am doing what I am doing and not doing something different or something more. I think I have a few things I still need to work out with myself - some old agreements that I don't agree with any more.

I still want to change and be all great and stuff, yet sometimes I just want to relax and not do much of anything. I am motivated often to do things I like to do, yet by some definitions, I am not doing much of anything.

I feel that by focusing on what I want and what I want to experience, it will happen. So far so good. I just wonder if there are some things I am trying to accomplish that are either not my own or are compromises to what I really want. Maybe they are based on trying to please other people over myself or simply not being clear in my own mind about what I really want.

Either way, I suppose it is just a matter of patience and practice to get where I want to go. If I don't feel like doing something, I am sure I can find something fun to do in the mean time. :)

Wish me luck!

Omninaut

2011-02-02T13:30:00.002-05:00

I learned about pyramidal meditations with the heart at its center to communicate with Pleadians.

I learned about creating cones to survive the upcoming photon surge.

I learned about a cleansing meditation to send liquid throughout my body and flushing it of all negative experiences.

So what have you learned about multidimensionality?

I am learning new things all the time! :)

I am looking forward to my chosen intention as an omninaut!

The Unfolding of an Author

2011-01-29T23:24:00.004-05:00

It's amazing to me that I am seriously considering becoming a published author. When I was in high school, I avoided any kind of writing that wasn't required for a class, except for an occasional bout of poetry.

Essentially, I was a math guy and to heck with English, except for conversation.

Now in my 4th decade on this planet, this time around, I am on the verge of creating works of literature and knowledge that I would never have dreamed possible back then. Through an interesting series of events, mainly my life, I have come to the point where I have so much to share with the world that I am now ready to do so.

I think it is a matter of a short amount of time when not only the fiction work I am doing but also the work I am doing with Nikki will lead to amazing adventures. I am already on an adventure right now and I expect this trend to continue forever more!

By transforming my thoughts on to the screen or paper, whatever feels right in the moment, I am able to channel the deepest part of my spirit. With this translation, through my earthly form, I am able to transmit information heretofore never seen before in this universe, from my personal perspective (the only one I have right now).

Communication in its purest form is simply an extension of spirit in material form. I expect great and beautiful experiences and people to come into my life and I expect them very soon. The forthcoming writings I offer will be a testament to all things wonderful. Enjoy the unfolding, as I plan to do!

More Thankfulness

2011-01-28T20:26:00.003-05:00

I am always amazed at my capacity to change. I was in such a tough space the past few days that it seemed like everything was going to bother me to some degree. Then I let it all go. :)

I am very thankful for all the training, insights, love, and caring I have been receiving. I am on a mission to feel good no matter what and I have succeeded for most of the day! :)

Or, is that a failure because I didn't do 100%? I will go with success, it feels better! :)

Have you noticed me ending my sentences with a smiley face?

Except of course the last one. ;)

Anyway, since the internet and email and blogging can seem so impersonal since we are not in the same room, I usually add some sort of smiley face to indicate my good-natured intentions when writing the sentence. :)

Ok, so there you go. Just trying to be more expressive! :)

<3

Being a Bit Testy Lately

2011-01-28T01:42:00.002-05:00

I have been a bit testy lately. I am not exactly sure why but it seems like I am creating some artificial competition between me and Tris.

I have been "right" more often then not, at least in my own mind. I often take the time to learn new things and explore ideas, especially from other people's perspectives. Yet no matter what I do, I can't seem to groc him.

I guess the idea of really knowing someone is not really plausible. I suppose it is just a matter of letting go of the idea of being able to in the first place and simply allow him to be himself, no matter whether it irks me or not.

Indeed, my real work is to not get irked by anyone about anything for any reason.

At least it is something to strive for.

Love and blessings!

Maintaining Good Head Space

2011-01-25T13:04:00.003-05:00

I had a rude awakening this morning with a dream about the Patriots losing to the Cowboys. It was like a 93-92 game and the refs blew a call in the endzone even with instant replay!

Needless to say, it took me a few pages of writing to get past the upset feeling and get back into a good head space again. It's amazing how easily I can get back into a good space when I am out of it.

Not surprisingly, I am not in a negative head space that often any more. I do get riled up about some things, but for the most part I am sailing along very well!

I am in the breakthrough mode of thought and I am thankful for it!

I am looking forward to what I am creating!

Tell me if you have anything cool that is on your horizon!

(BTW I use exclamation points and smiley faces a lot! :) )

Love and blessings!

Teenagers and a Call for Discourse

2011-01-23T23:03:00.004-05:00

I have been trying to get along with Tristan a lot more. It is challenging at times. He doesn't really know what he wants, but he certainly knows when it's something he doesn't want. I think the more he pushes against what he doesn't like, it will become a nasty habit he will have to let go - like I am trying to do.

So, I am now re-focused on what I want, which is to discuss life and spirituality with beautiful people. This means you!

So, I would love to have comments, ideas, and feedback. I am also going to make myself available on Facebook more often for brief chats. I like to give people different perspectives to work with while also finding new world views, as well.

So, please, come share yourself with me!

In the mean time, I am not giving up! Tris and I will figure it out! :)

Love and blessings!

Inevitable

2011-01-21T19:13:00.004-05:00

We just posted our Feline Dreamers vision board over at http://www.felinedreamers.com/blog.

I decided to share my own vision board here, for those who are visual stimulation type people. :)

I really enjoyed putting it together and I hope you take some scissors, glue, construction paper, and old magazines and clip your way to your own vision board!

I can look at it and remember all the great things I want to accomplish. In the morning, I take a look at the board and I look it over before going to sleep. I should put a wallet-size in my wallet and take it out when I need a spiritual boost.

May it bring you hope in your life too! :)

Here it is:

I chose the word "Inevitable" to represent all the things I *know* will arrive in my life. All the things in my vision board are inevitable! That's a very exciting thought and that is a really good thing to me!

I am looking forward with eagerness to my inevitable joyous life experiences!

51%

2011-01-20T23:19:00.003-05:00

Woah, just in the nick of time!

Oh wait, I can write whenever I like! :)

So I am having epiphanies left and right. I remember a few years ago (see posts from way back) when I was waiting for just the right one! Now I get them all the time!

I think I am moving past my old habits and have fallen forward into my enlightenment. According to The Power by Rhonda Byrne, and I am paraphrasing, once you hit 51% good thoughts to not so good thoughts, things start going your way. You notice things happening around you that you were blind to before. It's like a new level. I have pushed through a barrier and now I am here.

Yay!

Come see what I have been up to: http://www.felinedreamers.com!

Awesomeness

2011-01-19T13:32:00.005-05:00

Hi again. :)

Yes, didn't I mention I would be back here again lurking about and stuff?

Anyway, in case you were wondering... I am awesome!

Not only that... YOU are awesome!

That's the great thing about being Divine, eternal beings, we are awesome all the time!

I know we all get stuck in places we don't like, sometimes much longer than we ever intended. Yet here we are, still here doing our thing, whatever that happens to be at the moment. What's better than that?

Every day we get the chance to do new things, create our own adventure, and do whatever we want. Sure, we all have obligations that we have chosen for ourselves like work, kids, family, community, etc. The question is, are you doing these things because you really want to or do you feel some sort of pressure or guilt to do it?

Ok, to live beautifully, practice living the way that feels good to you. Forgive yourself, forgive everyone else, feel gratitude, think about what you like about every subject, get out of your rut when you notice you are in one, etc.

Feeling awesome and being awesome can be the same thing with a bit of desire, drive, and feeling worthy to feel so good. The only way to help anyone else is to start by feeling good, then you can help them the rest of the way, if they want.

Guess that is enough for now. :)

Take care!

Love and blessings!

Renewed Vigor

2011-01-18T14:28:00.003-05:00

Welcome to 2011!

Oh wait, you are already here...hmm, how does one welcome someone already there? I just did! YAY!

Ok, so here I am writing though I am not sure what to say. The few folks who have continued to read this sporadic blog, welcome! I mean thanks! :)

One of the things I try to do is focus on what I am doing rather than record it. Good job so far right? Well, I have been keeping a daily (or so) writing practice on paper. So I figured why not add one to this blog as well?

So I plan to write pretty much everyday. Either by posting some interesting tidbit about me or some grandiose thoughts and perhaps some poetry as well. I guess I want to, ultimately, get more folks interested in what I have to say and what I have been saying at Nikki and my website Feline Dreamers.

Really, I have been on the web since 1994 when I had to update my web page through ftp and text files. So my web presence has been here for quite some time, just not necessarily in a consistent location, format, theme, or whatever. If anyone has been doing the same content for that same amount of time I will show you someone who is stalled, stale, repetitive, and says the same thing over and over again. Umm...

Anyway, here is my goal:

Write every day on this blog.

Ok, I said it. It is now officially part of my existence. For better or even more betterer!

Love and blessings to you all!

What I Have Been Up To Lately...

2010-12-27T03:38:00.009-05:00

Rock in the Stream

2010-11-02T16:59:00.001-04:00

Rock in the Stream

Once I was mighty!
A chip off the olde block.
He stood tall and made the World.
I, his devoted Son,
Stood vigil in His name.

But then She came.
At first She showered Him,
With white, fluffy kisses.
His beard and brow became
As if of Her.

He was cold and hard to Love
Yet She knew His every
Nook and cranny.
She always found a way
To Love Him more.

As He warmed below His crown
She became Herself much more.
A flow, an energy, a way.
She had found a way,
She is the Ocean.

She caressed me when We first met
And I have followed Her ever since.
She was different, yet the same,
I began to follow,
Down His mane.

As my existence continues,
I find myself in a stream.
When I am open,
I flow to Her,
My true goal.

When I am closed
Or when I am hard,
I get stuck.
I bump and push;
I resist myself.

Yet every time,
I free myself.
Chip by chip,
Every resistance
Rounds me out.

Sometimes I stop,
If only for a while.
I am able to be
Who I am, where I am.
One of many.

So here I am
A rock in the stream,
I am His and Hers.
Whether I rest or flow,
I am myself.

Relaxing into myself

2010-09-28T15:44:00.005-04:00

I am always fascinated by my ability to discover new things about myself. It is a wonderful feeling, usually, and I am glad for it. :)

As I relax into my life and enjoy each moment more and more, I have come to realize the great capacity that I have to find joy in a variety of situations. Many of these experiences, in the past, would have sent me over the top, getting upset about not being in control of the situation or not feeling like it was fair or something.

More often then not, I am able to allow those feelings of frustration to pass through me, rather than take control of me. I allow them their say in my head, but I don't attach myself to their words. Said another way, I allow the feeling to happen, but I don't identify with it. If I were having the feeling of being a bad person does not mean that I *am* a bad person. If I feel angry, doesn't mean I *am* an angry person.

In other words, I am able to detach those feelings of remorse, guilt, anger, fear, etc. more easily then in the past and, in doing so, I have been able to overcome many of the patterns of thought that I have created for myself that feel like I am in a stuck place or moving backwards. I can now more easily see the humor and joy in any situation. I can enjoy the process of expanding and exploring myself and the world without the hang-ups that have hindered me in my past.

I hope, through Feline Dreamers, the Dream Journal, and our PawedCats Podcast (among other things) that I can help share this knowledge and the ideas that come from my self discoveries. I hope you all take the opportunity to explore who you are and find out what capacity for love you can have and hold in your heart.

Many blessings!

Tool of the Oracle: Your True Nature

2010-08-30T11:18:00.002-04:00

I got this from Starcat's blog. Thought I would check it out and see what happens. :)

Instructions:

1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

Here is my quote (from a time in 2005), here:

"I guess I need a lot more practice in dealing with other people, otherwise I'll lose out."

Sounds almost right, I still need practice! :)

Not sure about the losing out part any more, but sometimes I can feel that way.

The Nature of my Thoughts

2010-08-20T11:37:00.002-04:00

I am here writing this note and wondering what I am going to write about. It mainly will concern the nature of my thinking and how I think, right now. What I mainly think about is the present moment, however, it brings with it memories of past events and possible future events. If I grasp on too tightly to any of those, I can get lost in the melancholy of something lost or worry about what may or may not happen.

When I do realize that I am doing one of those two things, I am able to reset myself by focusing on what I most enjoy about the present moment or by focusing on what I want in the next. That may sound like a contradiction but, in fact, it is about experiencing the desire and want in the present while thinking of the future in a positive way.

If my thoughts remain focused on the present or near future in a way that feels good, I continue that line of thought and continue to focus on what I am enjoying or doing at the time. Sometimes, I enjoy focusing on the present moment by focusing on a book, movie, or video game. Other times, I enjoying sitting in nature or having a conversation with someone I love, especially Nikki.

One of the enjoyable parts of being me is my strange take on reality. I see the world as a playground and a playful place to be. A place to enjoy the use of communication and language, a place to fiddle with the ideas and thoughts of others in a humorous way, and to think about ways to be from other points of view. Of course, all of these things can lead to the longing of the past and worry of the future that I mentioned earlier.

My main focus that I am trying to learn is to be myself regardless of the company I keep. If I feel like speaking a strange faerie language while in the shower, I do. If I feel like sniffing Tristan on the head while he is watching a video on YouTube, I do. There are times, however, that I feel that my kind of humor is not "acceptable" or that my time is being "wasted."

When I feel like things are not going my way, I tend to get frustrated or very quiet. I believe these are learning opportunities for me. What precipitated these feelings? What beliefs am I holding that crop up during these times? How can I change my response to these beliefs and let them go so that I can begin refocusing on what I enjoy and refocusing on the present moment?

For the most part, these episodes are pretty quick to resolve themselves, usually in a matter of minutes, though sometimes longer. When I finally get myself out of them, I forgive myself for my silliness and my lack of "focus," as nonjudgmentally as I am able. I believe with practice, I will be able to short-circuit these patterns more easily and quickly as I move forward.

The next task that I am seeking to achieve is to overcome the obstacle of lack of abundance, as well as the perception that it is not going to happen immediately, or even that it can’t happen immediately. The old pattern of getting a job to pay my bills, to feed my family, to get ahead is apparently trying to reassert itself. Even though I feel confident in my new ideas and stance on life and abundance, am I re-instituting this old meme or can I approach the idea of being abundant while working for someone, perhaps in an office, for long hours every week, with limited time off and other thoughts I will short-circuit right now.

Essentially, I am concerned a little that I will fall back into that routine and accept my fate as a working man, rather than the glorious creator of my own reality. The other thought that crosses my mind is whether working for these folks is really the universe helping me solve the current financial crunch we created for ourselves and that I can just go with the flow, moving forward with no fear and no doubts. To me, that answer feels better than the other ones. Perhaps, if I just be myself, trust in the universe and go to my interview with that confidence, I can create the structure, pay, and freedom that I want, while still doing the work that they would ask of me. I could even get some traveling into the mix as well. Something that I would enjoy doing and sharing with Nikki too.

In any event, I am going to wander off into the Shire for a while, then head to bed. I hope whoever reads this garners some inspiration or at least some food for thought, not unlike a tasty chocolate mousse. Many blessings to you!

Feline Dreamers!

2010-08-11T22:48:00.003-04:00

I am so thankful and ready to release my bran'-spankin' new web site called Feline Dreamers.

My partner and I are great writers and we have such wondrous things to say about our favorite thought, Life.

Please come visit us! :)

Love,
Brent

P.S. I also started a new blog (secret wink) called BlackLion's What!?! where I delve into the strange things that happen along the way. Especially things that only geeks think about...like finding a diceless roleplay system that is not Amber DRPG (which I LOVE! <3 btw). Come visit my lair! (insert form of maniacal yet over-done symbolic laughter here). ttfn!

P.P.S. I am also planning on sticking it out around here when I feel inspired to. =".""."=

To the Universe

2010-07-03T23:01:00.003-04:00

I asked a question to myself: If I could say anything to the universe, what would it be?

Well, here it is:

Hi, good job! :)

All of Us

2010-05-07T00:29:00.002-04:00

One of the things I find fascinating is the extreme variety of points of view of people. Not only because there are so many people but each of us has so many different internal personalities. We each are made up of curmudgeons, debutantes, dilettantes, hard workers, loungers, and jovialists, to some degree or another. Each of those based on conglomerations of all the experiences we have ever had, with the variety of people we encounter.

What's the big deal? Well, as we each discover more about ourselves, we can also recognize other people inside us as well. Each person we experience in our lives also gives us a way to further our understandings about the universe and the people in it. What better way to be a conscious individual then to better our connection with our self.

If you be the way you want the world, you can better understand what you want and what you wish to create in the world. You can expand your knowledge and expand your ideas, but without expanding your inner space and your connection with All That Is, you will find a shallow perspective to life. With continued focus and development, you can not only create the world you most want, but also help guide the people in your life to their most wanted dreams as well.

What? Another update so soon?!?

2010-04-18T17:39:00.005-04:00

Hi again,

Yes, it is I, BlackLion, back again for another exciting adventure in blogging.

Aren't you excited too? Can't you feel your blood pumping faster, pulse racing, sweat beading on your forehead, anticipating another thrill ride of joy?

Well, if you are - great! If not, well that's okay too, at least you showed up. :) Here's a gold star for you! :)

Anyway, I have been really enjoying my life. I have been exploring new possibilities of wealth and abundance, new ways of experiencing consciousness, and new levels of communication and interaction with my fellow ings.

From my perspective, since that's the one I am using right now, this place is amazingly cool! I am so excited to be here. Yes, thank you, hold your applause until everyone has finished.

Really, I think I am here to explore ways of being that are creative, exciting, exhilarating, joyful, friendly, kind, thrifty, obedient...oh wait, headed into Boy Scout space for a moment there...

Anyway, what really cool and exciting things have you been experiencing recently? Let me know! Really, I do want to know! I want to explore this place in as many ways as I can and I have really got the not-much-money thing going really well so far. Now it is time to go the other way and try it from the ultra-rich way.

Will I forget anyone? Yeah probably, but not because of lack of interest, just different modes of being that I want to explore.

In any event, be well and I look forward to hearing from you all! :)

Anyone? (chirp chirp)

Ah, well, I write these things for me anyways, but you are welcome to interact if you want to. :)

TTFN! :P

Another "update" post

2010-04-13T00:02:00.002-04:00

Wow, another whole month without posting. I must be having a really fun time!

Well, I am!

I have been creating such wonderful projects and I have explored my inner space much more deeply and more profoundly than I have before.

A lot of my transformation has to do with rereading the book "The Science of Success" by Wallace Wattles. In 1909, he describes what a lot of folks are talking about. Essentially he describes the Law of Attraction and intentional living, not in so many words. I definitely recommend reading it and performing the experiments within.

I have found, and continue to be amazed, at the anecdotal evidence I am amassing for this way of thinking and being in my own life. I have never been a big fan of fate nor of randomness to describe how the universe and my life is created and evolves.

What I believe and feel to be true is that I create my own reality. We each have created this wonderful world we live in, with all its amazing beauty and horrific terrors. Each of our loves and fears are expressed in this place. What we each experience, however, is our choices become manifest. With each thought and especially habit of thought, we generate the people, places, and experiences in our lives that fulfill and reinforce our viewpoint.

This may be hard to hear, I suppose, but there are no victims. We each choose to live our life in fear and love, to varying degrees. The more we fear, or worry, or expect bad things to happen, they will surely befall us. The same is true for love and expansion.

However, we are also are not merely flesh and bone, but infinite beings of spirit, choosing to be here in this physical plane. With this vast knowledge, we can do anything we want, we just have to stay connected with that part of us that is still effortless love. Every inspiration, every creative idea, every new way of thinking is us connecting with our inner selves, our deeper knowing.

So why am I saying these things? Well, I often don't express in my daily life how vast I feel and how often I feel that way. However, I do enjoy sharing my thoughts but rarely do so on this blog. In any event, as I move forward with Feline Dreamers, I plan to keep a more regular blog about my life and how I am doing and what I am experiencing. But I guess random posts aren't sufficient.

So, here I am making an effort to update those who care, and also keep a record of where I am now. I plan to keep at least a weekly update at the Den, as I actualize my ever changing dreams and desires.

Blessings to you all!

BlackLion

Happiness

2010-03-11T23:16:00.003-05:00

Hi all!

So, I have come to believe, and have seen in my own life, that happiness is a choice. I believe that we all get to choose whether to be happy or not. Each moment we have the opportunity to choose how our day goes, and how our life will become.

Now, many folks say that there are people who do not have the choice on one subject or another. I think that our higher, or deeper, self chose any limitations or disabilities that all of us experience to one degree or another. We each, from this deeper perspective, are blessed with the challenges and conflicts we face because they are learning experiences and we can learn the value and unique knowledge that these limitations can offer.

I believe that any mental or physical ailment or difference from "normal" is a gift that we have given ourselves in this life. We cannot possibly understand what it is to live life blind without actually going through life that way. We cannot know what beauty or wisdom someone with autism experiences without having it ourselves.

What we can do is acknowledge our "limitations" and "differences" and enjoy life from our own perspective. There is no right or wrong way to live life. We each perceive what we enjoy and feel good about, as well as what we despise and feel terrible about. No one way is right for everyone. But, from a broader perspective, I believe there is value in the contrast of thoughts and ideas from the multitude of ways to experience the universe.

I am thankful for this life and the chance to live it the way I do! I hope you all enjoy it in your own way and find your happiness, whatever it may be. Blessings to you!

Wow, What a New Year!

2010-03-02T21:15:00.006-05:00

Hi everyone!

I have had such an exciting time in the past 2 months that I plum forgot to write about it here! :)

Starcat and I are on the brink of finishing The 30-Day Core Belief Kit that we have been working on since 2008. Nearly 2 years in the making, this fun gem has been nearly polished. We do have some guided meditations left, but I hope to have the new power supply adapter ready for my computer so we can record them. Silly new-fangled contraptions! ;)

Anyway, she and I have also been working on our business, website, and creative expression, Feline Dreamers where we have been blogging ourselves happy (yes you can call me a two-timer now! ;) ). Anyway, our good friend Max at The Mortality Figure created our beautiful artwork for the new website (pending) and we look forward to launching our new business venture. We are planning on offering a free e-book, a guided meditation mp3, and a subscription to our forthcoming e-zine, Dream Journal. Hopefully I can line up the web designer in the near future!

Anyway, I sound all preachy and advertisy!

Otherwise I have been enjoying the wonderful spring-like weather we have been having around here in Maine. My friends in Maryland had more snow this past few storms then we have had all winter! Not good for skiing or snowboarding, but the man-made stuff is sufficient I suppose. Not that I have gone this year since my "skiing" accident last February. Did I mention I am not a fan of trampolines right now? :)

Ok, so I had a great New Year's over at Kristen's house! She hosted the 5th Annual Final New Year's Party, again this year. :) I also had fun over at Max's playing pool and stuff. His dad was friendly enough to stay up and hang with us weirdos. :)

Had a joyful President's Day. Celebrated by chopping down cherry trees and lying about it and actually surviving a lovely theatre experience. :)

Groundhog Day...I think they made him say it was 6 more weeks of winter...Fascists! Oh wait, it's Punxsutawney Phil, he's never wrong... :)

Valentine's Day. What can I say? Wow, what an awesome time with my sweet Love! We didn't go out and do anything, but we got to spend the day together, writing blogs and Tweets and figuring out how to announce it all on our Facebook page! :)

Win a free prize if you can count the number of smiley faces in this post so far? :)

Bye bye for now my peeps! (Soon I will eat your yellow little heads off! Mwahaha!) Oh wait...umm... they are marshmallow and not vegan...I couldn't eat another bite! (Bring me a bucket...)

P.S. Let's see if they notice that I haven't put a script in! (Mwahaha!)

Wealth & Freedom

2009-12-27T23:28:00.003-05:00

So the first day of the 21-day Consciousness Cleanse that Starcat and I are working through deals with desires. We went through a list of all the things that we each want and each chose the two that feel the most compelling.

We were to choose an inner calling and an outer calling to focus on through this process. My inner focus, which came immediately, is freedom. Freedom to choose what to do each day, freedom to think what I want without limitations that I have put in place, freedom to travel and be where I want to be. This freedom is a calling in the sense of seeking to find within myself that direct connection with Divinity. To recognize within myself that I am a Divine being and that I am full of love and compassion. I am free to be me.

As an outer focus, I chose wealth. To me, this epitomizes the freedom I am seeking within. I wish to have a passive income that I can live off of while doing the things that I enjoy and broadening the menu from which to choose.

Now, the final part of this is to examine and explore what both of these things can do to further the world. I believe by understanding the paths along which I can find freedom, both inward and outward, I can share these insights with everyone else. I want everyone to have the opportunity to share in the freedom and wealth I will have. By finding my way, I can help others find their own way to serenity and financial freedom. Wish me luck!

Unhooking

2009-12-26T17:24:00.003-05:00

I had a wonderful Yule and Christmas with my family, friends, and community. We celebrated all night from dusk until dawn of Yule and had a great early morning closing ceremony with the kids who also stayed up all night. Also, I had a beautiful Christmas Eve with Mom and day with the family and with Dad.

Starcat gave me a book as a gift called "The 21-day Consciousness Cleanse" by Debbie Ford. I read up to the first day of the cleanse, which was about a third of the book. In it, she talks about unhooking your energy from things that are outside of yourself that siphon, little by little, the energy you have each day. The energy that you could be spending on projects that make your soul sing and the world rejoice.

I have been noticing lately that whenever I could get into a moment of "sucking" (of energy), I decide to unhook my energy and envision a hook at the end of an elastic cord. The further or tighter the cord is stretched, the stronger the release I feel when I unhook it. I feel much freer after each choice of unhooking.

Also, when I have a chance to rehook my energy, or hook another pattern, I have been choosing not to. Recognizing and feeling this release has been so helpful and I am overjoyed and laughing inside. I have so much more energy!

Today, I spent a lot of time on the computer and noticed that my body was feeling a bit stiff. I decided to do yoga to help rectify this rather than hook myself into reprimanding myself for doing what I did (which I enjoyed by the way). However, I have decided to mostly unhook myself from the computer during the cleanse, which Starcat and I are planning to start tomorrow morning. I do plan to check online for about an hour each day (at most) so that I can check important e-mails and blog through my journey on the cleanse.

I plan to update the blog at least five times a week to continue a regular practice of writing, as well as keep folks updated who are interested.

Take an honest look at the energy that you give to thinking about what other people are doing (whether you like what they do or not). In addition, examine how you feel when you focus exclusively on yourself for 15 minutes. Imagine the thoughts and ideas that, if you followed through with them, you could create or manifest in your life.

I look forward to this cleanse! Be well!

To Find a Love

2009-12-17T22:42:00.012-05:00

A couple of my friends are in the position of seeking a companion yet are having a difficult time finding someone to be with in a relationship. I was in the same position a few years ago and I would like to offer some ideas and insights that might be helpful for someone who is seeking a partner. I am in a loving and fulfilling relationship now and want to share my insights with those who want something similar to what I have found.

For reference, from the end of a relationship when I was 19 until I found a relationship when I was 35, I was celibate and desperate for someone to love me. During that time, including my college career and much of my corporate career, I was lonely and looking for anyone to find me attractive and love me. Yes, the most "virile" time of my life was spent alone and desperately seeking another's company. I was completely alone and not able to find a mate.

To find someone takes an energy that is different than what I was offering. I was in need of someone who would complete me or make my life better, when, in fact, it was necessary for me to find who I was and be complete unto myself. The only way to find anyone you are seeking is to find yourself and be yourself.

It took me a great deal of time to love myself and be comfortable being with myself without retribution or recrimination. I had to be confident in who I was such that I was able to offer that love and affection to other people. What could I possibly know about love if I could not even love myself?

Once I found who I was and found love for myself, I was able to face the world and other people without fear or doubt (at least in significant amounts). At first, I had trepidations about interacting with the world and worried about what other people thought about me. After being myself and just letting go of my old fears, I eventually found a friend and lover who liked me. I was so ecstatic! I put a lot of effort into making her happy and trying to be interesting and exciting. Eventually, we parted ways, but still remain good friends.

As I became more myself and realized how interesting and wonderful I was, I was able to find my current partner, Starcat. She was interested in me, yet I was not able to see this affection beyond my current circumstances. Eventually, I was able to let go even more and let myself love, regardless of the circumstance. I am now completely in love with her, and am very happy with my choices!

So, after all of this offering on my part, here are my suggestions and ideas. First, let go of what you think other people want. There is no way to know what other people really want and besides, isn't it more interesting to find out what you want to offer someone else rather than conform yourself to someone else's viewpoint? Second, find out what you really want. How could you know what to look for in another person if you don't know what you want? Lastly, and the most important, to be who you are, and to find anyone else to love you no matter who you are, is imperative to your well-being. There is no way to find anyone else to share your life if you are not comfortable with who you are and do not love the unique way you work with the universe. Be yourself, and those who love you for who you are will appear. Friends and lovers will seek you out when you are yourself.

Please let go of the limitations you have set before you. You can be, do, or have all the things you want if you be yourself. Flow with the way you are and you will reward yourself with all the people and events that will encourage your vivaciousness. Enjoy and be well!

Creativity in Many Forms

2009-12-13T20:39:00.008-05:00

Today I created a Certificate of Appreciation for the Maine Wholeschoolers to send to the companies and folks who donated to the Spaghetti Supper. We had over 20 different auction items as well as foods and other items donated.

I created an illumination border using colored pencils (see picture). I did 4 flowers with vines around the border based on some of techniques I learned in a new book I got called "The Art of Botanical Drawing: An Introductory Guide" by Agathe Ravet-Haevermans. She gives very interesting ways to create flowers and vines, though much of it has to do with watercolors rather than drawing. Regardless, I made a nice border that the kids can use to show their appreciation for the donations.

Also, last night, Starcat and I drummed for a Pagan fundraiser called The Longest Night. We did the introduction and the intermission and I also read the poem I wrote last week called "On This Yuletide." The poem was not on the original slate for the show, but I offered it up and it fit perfectly as the invocation for the night.

I love being able to express myself in all the the different ways I like. I also enjoy giving my time for charity as well as for my benefit monetarily. As I spend more time on my many projects, I am feeling more confident in my ability to create whatever it is I want. I love being able to spend much of the day doing creative stuff as well as playing around with the kids. I also have two patent ideas that I plan to put through the process, though I will need some assistance in that aspect.

I look forward to moving forward in all my creative endeavors!

Peace

2009-12-12T13:07:00.005-05:00

During this time of year, many people focus on peace and harmony and trying to find solutions to war and hunger. People also focus on family, friends, community, gift-giving and charity. And still others may focus on lack, greed, decadence, and humbug.

Who is right? What should any one person be focusing on? What about people who are doing anything that you do not like or that you hate or fear? How can you find peace when others are fighting for survival?

Within each of us is the answer. We each know or at least are aware of what we enjoy and what we do not enjoy. We each know that some things are wonderful to us, and other things are terrible. This knowing is the guidance of our eternal nature, our soul if you will. We are not separate from our eternal nature, but a manifestation of it. We are an emergence into this time-space continuum of our eternal being. I believe, with some introspection and meditation, that this guidance can aid each of us to the peace we seek.

To find the peace within you, stop doing the things that hurt yourself or others. Every thought is a choice. We each can choose to be who and what we want, and by listening to our inner guidance, by way of positive or negative emotions, then we can choose peace instead of war.

The major reason why we have war and hunger and fear is that most of us do not like what we see in the world or what we are experiencing and want other people to change what they are doing so that we can feel better. In other words, instead of changing ourselves to change the world, we expect and demand that others change themselves so that they will conform to the world we wish to experience. We demand that they stop hurting other people or that they stop stealing or that they stop doing those things that don't feel good to us.

The only way to change the world is from within. Hear the peace and love that is always within you and heed its advice. When you listen to your inner being, your experience of the world will get better. If you only listen to your head, you will find that you do not feel very good. Your mind is a beautiful tool for knowledge and coming up with great ideas to experience or to discover better ways of living. But without the guidance of your soul, the mind will find these "better" solutions, regardless of whether they are in line with what you truly want.

I will assume that many people may object to this line of thinking based on the notion of lack or the idea of our limited nature. Regardless of where you are on your path, we each know what feels good and what does not. The choices we make are all around us. Every person, every object, and every situation we find ourselves in is based on the majority of our thoughts.

To find the peace that is within you and to experience it throughout your experience, take time to listen within and take care of yourself. Each of us can find the peace within. Once that is found, the solutions and aid that you wish to give for others to experience will become self-evident.

Deck the Halls

2009-12-10T14:48:00.004-05:00

Tonight is my traditional tree-trimming with my Mom. This time we will also be accompanied by Starcat and the kids. I anticipate a joyous and fun-filled time!

We usually start off with playing the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas music and singing along to the 12 Days of Christmas (Fiiiiiiive Gooooooo-ooooold Riiiiiiings, ba-dum bum bum). We then begin by putting up ornaments from when I was a kid, some of which I made. We then do a dinner and a Christmas movie. This year will be "A Christmas Carol" from the 1950s, starring Alastair Sim.

I really enjoy the Christmas season and I am thankful for having such a long-standing tradition with my Mom. We both enjoy each others' company and we have a fun time reminiscing about old holidays and stories about the ornaments. We also play with her kitties, if they decide to come out and join us.

What I like most about this year is that I get to share this experience with the rest of my family. I hope they get as much fun and joy out of it as I do. I know that I will be glad to have them come along and experience decorating like I did when I was a kid. Plus it will be fun to have a Muppet sing-along as well!

And on a side note: this is the 30th day of the 30 day challenge that Starcat and I have set for ourselves to blog each day! As we go forward, we plan to continue to blog regularly as well as set up another writing challenge on our other projects. Wish us luck!

Change

2009-12-09T23:34:00.003-05:00

Change is the ever-present part of being. We transform and are transformed by every moment. Every thought and every action results and is a result of everything we experience consciously and unconsciously. In effect, we are the culmination of everything we have ever experienced.

Now, that may seem like a lot and potentially any act or thought could drastically change our lives in ways we are not prepared for. However, this is an effortless process and we do it all the time. The great thing about this is that we are capable of determining and choosing our thoughts and actions every day.

So, practicing anything over and over again, say negative thoughts and actions, yet expecting much in our lives to be positive is far-fetched. Any practiced action, whether what we want or not, will lead to practiced behaviors, our thoughts and actions. If we want to change our lives and beliefs in ways that result in positive thoughts and actions, we must choose to feel good, think in ways that are positive, and do actions that are fun and interesting.

Negative leads to negative, positive leads to positive; it is as simple as that.

How do we get there from where we are now? Pick your next thought or action. What does it feel like? Is it helping you to be the way you want to be or is it part of a continuing pattern that you are experiencing? Perhaps, just this once, choose to let go of the sadness or frustration that you may be feeling, or do something that feels good to you and also uplifts someone you care about.

It is your choice, choose what you like, literally.

You Are What You Eat

2009-12-08T22:41:00.004-05:00

One of the things I have been noticing about myself in the past week is how the foods I eat are affecting my body and my moods. I have been on a sugar/sweetener fast since Samhain and I planned to continue until Yule (though now I want to continue it past this time frame). I have also been doing a dairy fast as well during this same time, with less encouraging results.

This week I have been eating dairy, mainly cheese, almost every day and I have noticed more blemishes on my face as well as having grumpy mood swings more often. When I was a baby, I was allergic to milk and would break out in eczema. So it is not a surprise that I am still sensitive to dairy. What bothers me is that I also seem to still crave cheese on occasion as well.

In any event, I believe that what I am eating is not only going to affect how my body works, but it is an extension of what I am thinking and feeling about myself. I know that I will feel icky (this is the official scientific term) if I have too much sugar or dairy. So, if I am feeling crappy about myself or in a negative space, the foods I look for are the ones that will continue or exacerbate that mood. It sometimes takes a Herculean effort to choose other foods.

Thankfully, I keep a supply of soy milk available for my milk cravings. I know some people do not like the taste, but I grew up on it and enjoy it. Also, I have raisins and dates available to munch on if I have a sugar craving. I think as I move forward, I want to focus less on what I am eating and more on how I am feeling about what I am eating. In that way, I know I will choose the foods that work best for my body rather than working against what my body enjoys.

Listen to your body because it knows how to heal itself and stop letting your negative emotions fuel your body.

On This Yuletide

2009-12-07T23:07:00.008-05:00

Put on your coat
Put on your boots
It is time again
To go outside
And celebrate around the fire

The winter is cold
And in full swing
We can see our breath
We can see the circle
With the logs set just so

We come together
On this longest night
To celebrate the return
Of the Sun
From his deep slumber

We hold hands
And sing a carol
We dance and smile
As the bonfire burns
And lifts the night

With hails to each
The directions we call
Earth, Air, Fire, Water
And to our ancestors
We give our lovely praise

With energy raised
And our hearts filled
We return inside
Cider and nog mugs
Brimming for our warmth

A feast on the table
Great foods to imbibe
And pies of all kinds
To keep our energy up
For our long vigil

On this Yuletide
We come together
With friends and family
From dusk until dawn
We gives thanks anew

Color and Light

2009-12-06T22:57:00.003-05:00

I really enjoy color and light. I like every color and shade, each evoking a different feeling and emotion within me. The fascination stems mainly from my artistic tendencies, but also my logical ones as well. The main reason for studying physics was to understand and explore the universe. Astronomy is my passion, and what better way to study light then to look deep into the universe at all the variety and change that happens throughout.

Now that we have our first snowfall here in New England, I can start to enjoy the many shades and compositions using white. Plus, with all the reflection and refraction of sunlight amongst the snow crystals, I can enjoy a rainbow within the sparkling white.

In addition, I bought some light tubes that are about a half a millimeter in diameter and maybe a foot in length with varying color coatings. I plan to create "light faeries" out of them by fanning the tubes out in the shapes of wings or other wispy shapes and let the ambient light, or sunlight create a visually pleasing show. Because the light going into the tubes is bounced off the inside of the tube, the ends of the tube tend to glow while still lighting up the rest of the length. This will be a fun project, and I hope to make several of them with the amount of tubing I got.

I also want to explore more media in which I can create dazzling displays of light and color in the near future as I learn more techniques of art and expand my confidence in the arts as well. My next goal is to learn glassblowing and create elaborate (or simple ones to start) glass projects so that I can play with light and form in fun ways. Wish me luck!

Pampering Myself

2009-12-05T23:06:00.003-05:00

I don't often make a habit of taking the time to nurture or pamper myself. I do have comfortable bedding for when I sleep, but for the most part I don't think of it. When I came home from bringing Dryst to soccer, Starcat was enjoying a heating pad on her lower back because of cramps. So I tried it out and it felt really good!

I am thinking of putting an electric blanket on my bed for the upcoming winter. Why not heat it up a little while before sliding into that warm, comfortable bed? I am also going to add more days of "me time" during the month, maybe once per week, or more. I think I might take myself out to lunch (though some of you may already think I have!) or Starcat and I can go on a walking and lunch date too.

By far I do not live a decadent lifestyle, but I am really interested in taking more time to take care of myself and treat myself well. When I create my castle (or "catsle" because I am a lion after all) I want a room called the pillow room. Completely filled with pillows of all shapes, sizes and fluffiness. Perhaps a little decadence isn't a bad thing.

In any event, perhaps taking time to relax and take care of yourself from stressful times should be a priority. Why not brew that tea, find a comfy seat, and curl up with a great book? It will create within you a sense of connectedness and a sense of your own divinity.

Circle

2009-12-04T19:45:00.004-05:00

I stand quietly in the sacred circle, my hands in my pocket and my breath steaming whitely into the cold. I am waiting my turn to speak and patiently listening to those around me telling of their journey and their path. Usually, I am reserved and do not speak out very often, but today I have chosen to speak my truth to more than just myself.

In the past, I would say "blessed be" after each person would finish their story and shake my head when my turn was up. Each one was gracious in my negation, but they each, at other times, have spoken to me about my kindness and joy of life. I am an introvert by nature but when I am in trusted company, I give of myself freely and easily.

Today, in this circle, I feel different. I have a confidence and knowing that is transcending my fears and doubts about myself. I am really worth listening to and I have information and knowledge that others will wish to know. Perhaps this season, because of its warmer weather, except for this chilly night, has given me more time to think about myself while still enjoying nature and the clear night sky.

I try to remain focused on each speaker and give my full attention, but my excitement to speak next seems to be too powerful to ignore. I have something to say, and I am anxious to say it. I hope it is taken well and I hope that the others will be kind in their listening and acceptance of this knowledge. Perhaps they are focused on the other speaker as I should be, or, what if they are focused more on their own thoughts than the words of others?

The circle is quiet and the many eyes of my friends, family, and coven mates now turn to me. I can see that others are looking to the next person in the round as if I am expected to acquiesce and bow out once again. My cheeks flush and the words and knowledge that I am so excited to share begin to jumble and mix together. I don't remember the practiced beginning line and the rest is a mere shadow, boxing with itself off into the night.

I lower then shake my head slowly. Sympathetic eyes look at me for but a moment more then turn to the next in line.

"Perhaps next time," I think to myself, dejected a little in my nervousness.

Maine Wholeschoolers' Success

2009-12-04T00:10:00.001-05:00

Thanks to the generosity of our wonderful community, the Spaghetti Supper was a huge success! We raised over $400., and the discussions at our celebration tonight have been about a trip to the Boston Museum of Science, helping our new Drama Club put on a play they write in a real theater, and investing in a community service project to help disadvantaged girls & women (among other things).

Thank you all so very much for supporting this very cool and creative group of kids in their chosen education!

I had a great time making spaghetti, helping the girls do their thing, and joking around with our family and friends. An overall good time!

Chaos

2009-12-02T23:20:00.004-05:00

One of the things that I find challenging sometimes is when I experience someone acting chaotically or acting out of their norm. Whatever the reason, I can empathize with how they are feeling because I have been there before, but I also do not enjoy re-feeling those emotions over again.

Right now, I feel I need to pull my energy back and find another place to be when I'm in those situations. I am looking to find other ways of overcoming such challenges, but right now it feels like I am just coming back into my own power and balance and anything that potentially could knock me out of whack can be discouraging.

In any event, I am still learning the best way to allow someone else to be in whatever state they are and still be in my own center. Most of the time, I am rather good at it, but when I sometimes get a full dose directed at me, I curl up and find another place to be or snarl right back at the person.

If I am truly in my center, I can be in any situation without having to pick up the negative emotions anyone else is feeling. I want to be able to stay there so that the other person can get out of their funk and have an anchor or rock to hold on to while in their chaotic storm. With more patience and practice, I hope to be able to offer myself more often and still feel my power.

CSA and Cooking

2009-12-01T22:22:00.004-05:00

One of the fun things I am enjoying about being part of a CSA (community supported agriculture) program is the different kinds of vegetables we get for each installment. This week we received some staple items such as onions and potatoes, but we also got ones like brussels sprouts, parsnips and celeriac.

If I was at the store, I would not think to buy these veggies, let alone put them in a stir fry, like in the pad thai we made tonight, but we experimented and it came out great! In fact, we have been creating our weekly menu based on the CSA veggies rather than trying to fit them into our "regular" menu.

I enjoy cooking and I also like to learn new flavors and textures to put in my recipes. I am personally really good at spicing foods, so the rarer interplay of these vegetables compared to the spices I know allows me a new spectrum of subtlety and nuance in my cooking.

For Thanksgiving, we had three different kinds of squash: butternut, acorn and delicata. The acorn and delicata we got from the CSA and the mix came out great! On Monday, we got another butternut and delicata, each from the CSA and the medley came out wonderful. The delicata has a nice, sweet flavor which mixes well with the butternut and maple syrup.

In any event, I have really enjoyed cooking with these new foods recently and I think I am going to start adding new and strange fruits and veggies to my regular shopping, to see what I can get for flavors.

Indifference and Competition

2009-12-01T00:26:00.007-05:00

Technically, I have not posted a blog for November 30th, but, as Starcat says, "it's not a new day until you go to sleep." So here I am at 12:30 AM writing my blog. Also, since I don't go to bed until 1 or 2 AM usually, then it is not really cheating either! :)

Now on to the blog...

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I am losing my taste for competition and watching competitive sports. I am finding the anger and frustration when my team does "poorly" or the refs make a "bad call" to be the antithesis to what I want to build and strive for. In the past, I was much more competitive and would get into terribly violent verbal tirades and shouting at my the poor inanimate television.

The only way I have found to "combat" these feelings from welling up is to be indifferent to the outcome of the match. Which really goes against the grain of these sort of events in the first place. Rabid fandom makes money for these businesses and the accompanying merchandising keeps the momentum going.

Now, I am not saying that sports are "evil" or "bad." Frankly, I am tired of the whole process in general. I do not want to tie my emotional enjoyment of life on whether my team "wins" or "loses," or makes a "good" or "bad" play. Those are all value judgments and I am feeling the desire to let all of those go.

Instead, I am planning to replace these feelings with more cooperative and constructive ways of being with friends. I think what I want to do instead is have more get-togethers and plan more events that do not necessarily include watching sports together. The main reason I want to do these events is for the camaraderie and all the fun jokes and silliness we do together.

Now that I am outside of the situation, I can see that my actions and the words and feelings I am having are not really conducive to what I want. I think, instead, I will focus more on my friends and the company I am keeping, rather than the outcome or situation in any of the games or sports I am a part of.

Reiki

2009-11-29T19:44:00.003-05:00

My partner Starcat and I gave a friend Reiki this afternoon because of his desire for healing. This was my first session of giving Reiki for well over a year, and I had a great time. I am glad I was able to offer help as well as to reacquaint myself with offering Reiki.

I have been wanting to train from Reiki I to Reiki II for the past year or so, and I have bartered enough of my computer knowledge to get training from my Reiki Master, a friend of mine as well. I am looking forward to this new process and new attunement.

I believe that doing Reiki for myself and those in my community will not only help, but is a continuation of my path of learning and healing. I have been changing how I view the world and I think by offering my services to my community with Reiki and my writing, I can help change the world as well.

I am called to become more active in my community and I think that Reiki, and volunteering for the EarthTides organization, are part of this process. I plan to apply for licensure to be Pagan clergy in the next few months as I reawaken my focus on community-building.

Battle of the Nerf Guns

2009-11-28T17:47:00.003-05:00

So Dryst and I just finished 4 rounds of Nerf Death Match. I won, with a flawless victory and stealth, the first round and tied with simultaneous shots the next 2 rounds. The final round went to Dryst with a shot to the belly, after losing his hip and shoulder. Clearly, I won outright!

I like to play games with the kids. Sometimes I get frustrated because Dryst is getting better and better the older he gets, but then again, I still have the experience edge. Eventually he will catch up to my experience level, but I will still have guile and subterfuge on my side. His agility and speed are his current assets, but I am gaining my speed again after the accident.

In any event, I think it's fun to be able to run around and play like a kid, or even better, as one of the kids. At the homeschool group, I go outside and play zombies, football, soccer, and other fun stuff. I also play some Xbox 360 with them, but I suck at Halo 3. I am better at Left4Dead than Dryst, though he hates that one but likes Left4Dead 2.

In any event, I am reconnecting with my child-like qualities while still maintaining my knowledge and wisdom from "growing up."

What is the point of wasting all the time I have had to learn by sitting around watching TV or working all the time? Why not enjoy my whole life, rather than just the early parts?

Newsletter Updating

2009-11-27T21:53:00.002-05:00

I'm working on my second issue of the EarthTides Pagan Network Newsletter as editor and I am having a blast! I really like trying to get articles to fit well on pages, make the alignment and placement of images look good, as well as organize and keep the calendar and networking sections up-to-date.

I am also the webmaster for the site (http://www.earthtides.org) and so I get to set up a lot of the nuance and updates for that as well.

I think my mind really enjoys organizing data and analyzing structures. Probably why I got a degree in physics and have been an algorithm programmer for over a decade. The "devil" is in the details, as they say, though I am not sure I am fond of that phrase, mainly because the "fun" is in the details. I guess that might be the point, from some points of view.

In any event, along with editing and laying out the newsletter, I also write a regular column for it, "Faerie Tidings," with my partner Starcat. She also has a regular column, and I have decided to start a regular column as well called, go figure, "BlackLion's Den."

In those articles, I hope to be able to convey some similar things that I have on this blog as well as give folks some thoughts and ideas from my point of view. Then again, I am pretty sure it is not possible for me to translate the universe any other way.

I am nearly finished the updated contact information for the networking section and I will update the calendar section after that. Then I will be putting up a new map on the website so people can get an idea where to find local Pagan contacts to attend open circles and meet like-minded folks. Time to get back at it. Blessings!

Awakening and Gratitude

2009-11-26T20:03:00.000-05:00

I think the awakening process is both a wonderful thing and a challenging thing at the same time. I have moments of great joy and happiness, yet other times of such frustration and anger. When I am confronted with the patterns I am trying to change, they shackle onto me and want to drag me back to the old way of seeing things. It can be very tiring and miserable, if I let them.

I am thankful that I am able to get out of these moments more easily than in previous years, yet I still am hopeful for the day when these passing thoughts will float on by like wisps of clouds off in the distance. On most occasions, I am able to let them flow on by as I am confident and sure of my new vision and truth.

So what happens when they get stuck in an eddy or throw a line around a nearby tree? Well, some of the practices I have been doing recently have been focused on the energy of my normal flow of life. What are the things, right now, that I can be thankful for? I know that, in these times, trying to be thankful for the person or event that I’m upset about just doesn’t feel right. I can, though, focus on the kitten-boys and how cute they are and how soft they are. I can count on the sun, and warmth, and the comfortable spot I have found to also be good reminders of my gratitude.

It sometimes takes a little while to get back to where I want to be and where I want to feel. But I know, after doing it many times, that I will be able to get out of these sludge thoughts and back into my light and happy thoughts. Once I am confident that the dark mood has passed, I am able to look back on the triggers that occurred and see them in a more positive light. Next time, the trigger will be seen and understood better, and then I will be able to overcome those feelings a little easier.

I know that I can sometimes get stuck in the “why haven’t I finished with all those old thoughts already?” moments, but I am glad that I have discovered that I am a great learner and that my journey is a continuously challenging and rewarding one. Thankfully, I choose to be on this path where the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the darkest, scariest parts of the forest are already behind me. Fear not, and the fear goes away.

Getting Ready for Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T23:11:00.003-05:00

I really enjoy cooking! Perfect for this time of year. I have made a squash medley, made up of butternut, acorn, and delicata squashes. With a little bit of maple syrup, vegan margarine and soy milk, it will make a lovely vegan squash dish! Well, the bit I tried tasted good!

I also made a stuffing with my own "poultry" seasoning, similar to Bell's, with onions and celery. Of course, I am not stuffing anything into the cloaca of a dead bird, but I call it the same. A friend calls it dressing, but I am also not dressing anything either.

I made a double batch of a great vegan gravy the other day. I brought some over to our homeschool group's Thanksgiving celebration, and I saved the other half for the mashed potatoes that we are going to make in the morning. Along with some steamed broccoli and the seitan that Quester made, we shall have a wonderful feast!

We are having 17 people for Thanksgiving this year, my Dad and his wife among the new folks this time around. I hope they enjoy themselves. They have a bunch of weird, freaky people to hang out with. Should be fun!

In any event, I am looking forward to tomorrow!

Introspection

2009-11-24T23:20:00.002-05:00

I am now at a point in my life where I am ready to look inward. I have followed and been a part of many diverse and different ways of looking at the universe, and have picked up a lot of great information and ideas, but also a lot of bad habits that are hindering my growth now.

I want to find the place within myself, the quiet, loving, caring me that will help guide my next thoughts and actions. A place I can go in times of strife or worry or doubt where I can be myself and find myself. I no longer enjoy "enforcing rules," especially since they are all made up in the first place. I want to release being "right" and "first."

I want to find a peace and joy with everyone I encounter, enjoying their laughter and uniqueness. I want to celebrate their triumphs and help guide them when they are low. I want to be joyful and find the good things in every situation. I want to be the brilliant and happy being I know that I am, that each of us are when we allow ourselves to be ourselves.

Some of the techniques I have learned so far are from Eastern philosophy, though not necessarily unique to them. Yoga and meditation have been really helpful tools and I am looking forward to integrating more of those into my daily routine. I also want to do more visualizing, creating a path to happiness through conjuring more of the things I want to experience in my life. No limits!

Writing has also been very cathartic and I am happy to be able to speak my truths and offer my thoughts to my readers, as well as allowing my thoughts to flow with an energy all their own. And, with this practice, I am feeling more and more confident in my art and more comfortable offering myself to the world. I am very much looking forward to the opportunity to share my knowledge and love to those who want it.

Outrageous

2009-11-23T22:36:00.002-05:00

I had this feeling earlier this evening. I want to do something totally outrageous. Something that is totally in line with who I am, yet something that is very outgoing and very powerful. I had a thought of dressing up crazy and going out, but I have done that already! I am thinking something life-changing and profound, not only for me, but for all who experience it.

Perhaps I could do some stand-up comedy. Or some really funny skit downtown. Or something really fun musically. Kalimba anyone?

I am really not sure what I am going to do, but that feeling is what I am going for! I want to feel strong and powerful and really make an impact in other people's lives. Definitely something positive and uplifting!

I am the creator of my own reality, and, like I said in an earlier post, I want to do something outlandish and crazy. I like the idea of doing something fun and interesting above and beyond all the fun things that I already do!

Any thoughts? I will probably mesh something together from a bunch of different responses or a bunch of random thoughts that come to me.

Guess this post is NOT outrageous, just thinking about doing something outrageous! :)

In the Moment

2009-11-22T20:09:00.000-05:00

When you pick up your next drink (water, milk, beer, soy nog), what do you notice? Are you paying attention to how the muscles in your arm are working seamlessly to bring the glass to your lips? Are you letting the flavor of the liquid wash over your tongue and down your throat, or do you let it linger a little longer, noticing all the intricacies and nuances as they play over your taste buds? Do you pay attention to the gentle sound of it resting back on the table or coaster as you set it down?

When focusing on the now, what are you experiencing? For me, each moment lasts a little longer. In fact, time seems to have no consequence as I type these letters, letting each keystroke on the keyboard flow effortlessly through my Self and onto the screen. The words and motion of typing becomes one with my thoughts at this moment. At other times, I am oblivious to what my fingers are doing, lost in the thought or feeling.

When living your life in the moment, if you have ever tried, what is it that you notice the most? Do you notice your body more, or the object of your attention? It is said that we receive over a million signals to process every second, and that we only see maybe a hundred of them. We can only really focus on a small amount in any given moment. What if you were lost in thought? Perhaps none of the external stimuli are noticed by you.

Just for a moment, try to take in much more of what is being offered to you, both internally and also from without. What do you experience? What things do you take for granted? Does your sense of smell overpower your sense of sight, or does what you are touching become your focus? Perhaps go through each sense that you have and focus on it exclusively, or as much as possible. Close your eyes and listen to the sounds of the room you are in, to your own heartbeat, to the silence.

Imagine that you could focus on just the things that bring you happiness. What things about the chair you are sitting on do you enjoy - the way it feels? What about where you are living; what do you enjoy most right now? Who are the people you love the most? What qualities about them can you list in your mind or on a piece of paper that you like most about them? What about the people you currently have a grudge against, or are having a challenging time with? What qualities can you find that are not ones that may trigger your anger or frustration?

Now try to do this more often; perhaps every day. Practice it once an hour by setting an alarm or at the top of the hour, whatever you are doing or wherever you are. What are the best things you can think about this moment? Try it. You might actually enjoy yourself more often!

Tapping In

2009-11-21T22:26:00.004-05:00

I really love tapping in to the wellspring and life of the universe. When I write something that really connects with those who read my words, I am touched and feel very profoundly thankful! As I learn my craft more and as I write more often, I believe I can tap into this wellspring more easily and more frequently.

I think it is true for everyone, in their own way. There are great artists that can tap into this brilliant energy and transform our experiences and emotions in strong and powerful ways. With just a moment or two of silence and inner listening, each of us can bring out that which we all contain within, this great, pure, creative love.

That feeling of upliftment that we all feel, more often with practice, is the real success, the real goal of our lives. Doing something that feels so good to create, as well as that experience of connection, where others can also appreciate, in their own way, that creative expression manifested through you.

So what is it that you are passionate about? What things can you do right now that will bring you joy? What about an "a ha!" moment, or a "wow, never thought of it that way before" thought? Find a place where you can be totally focused on you and your inner world. What thoughts come to mind? What inspirations, no matter what the subject, no matter what the idea?

Your inspirations are the culmination of everything you have every experienced becoming actual in this place, right now. What unique insights and ideas can you bring forth? Create it! Follow through by writing it down, or if it has no word-form, draw it, paint it, code it, sing it, play it, or act it out!

All it takes is this moment, right now, to tap into your life-force, this wellspring of joy and possibility. Why not try it? Right...now!

Relax

2009-11-20T23:47:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I like to relax. I know, a luxury for a lot of people, but I like to do relaxing things at least once a day if not more often. I like to read, play games, do research on the computer, walk, play sports, watch sports, do art, make music, and enjoy hanging out with the family, among many things.

I also know that I do not always take care of my wants as much as I would like sometimes. I also feel somewhat guilty for actually indulging the pleasures that I want to enjoy. Perhaps it is a matter of conditioning but the fact remains that I do have those feelings. I guess my focus, during those times, is more on what other people may think of me doing something for myself rather than doing it because I am worth taking care of.

One of the challenges I am overcoming is that I really do like me, but do not always show it or do the things that really take care of me. I have been fasting from sugar and sweeteners since Samhain and I will continue until Yule (with a one-day reprieve on Thanksgiving). I am also taking a break on dairy, though I do have some on occasion. So far I feel clearer and I am losing weight. Which only makes sense at the rate I had been eating sugar the past couple months.

In any event, my focus has been drinking more raw vegan smoothies/elixirs for breakfast as well as only eating when hungry. I know that this is only the “action” portion of my life. In addition, I have been focusing on feeling better about my choices and my wants. Actually being who I want to be and enjoying whoever I am in the moment.

In any event, it takes time and patience to get what you want and be who you want. But, you also have to remember that you are who you are right now, and you have to start where you are. Be yourself, be happy in who you are and feel your happiness and joy in all things. Just a matter of practice and intention. It is worth the effort so far, and I am enjoying the process as well!

Family

2009-11-19T21:27:00.004-05:00

I am really enjoying family time! Today, my mom came over and had lunch with us. I really like having her come over and enjoying the afternoon together.

We also had a left-over dinner, which ranged from BBQ Tempeh and mashed potatoes, to Asian stir-fry to Indian latkes. Yum!

We are in the middle of our double-feature movie night. First was "Up" and now we are getting ready to watch "Transformers 2." Popcorn is popping in the kitchen and Starcat is on the other computer finishing up her blog challenge.

Now that I got the "facts" of the day going, here is something more: My heart is full of joy!

I am so thankful for my wonderful family, both blood and chosen that I have created! I have such a wonderful partner in Starcat, and I am glad that we have found each other! The kids are great and fresh, and I am learning so much about myself through learning and teaching with them. The "Boys" are strong and powerful and gentle, in their own ways, and I am really thankful for their energy and courage and happiness. I am thankful for "whose a puppy!". She is such a sweet dog and, even though she still smells of skunk, I love her! And of course, the kitten babies. I am so thankful that they are so cute and cuddly and want to sleep with me! Yay kittens!

I hope all of you out there are as thankful as I am with their family. Even with all the challenges we may face, love always will overcome fear.

Wishing you and yours many blessings!

Exploring Alternate Ways to Interact

2009-11-18T22:54:00.000-05:00

I’m exploring a new way to interact with people, especially when people are anxious or angry or upset. One way that I do this is by holding my tongue, rather than trying to offer “solutions” or to give advice. Usually the people want to vent or get me to buy into whatever drama they are experiencing, and I would rather not. I know that I am feeling better about this reaction than to follow that path, but I also know it is just one more step in the direction of allowing them to be themselves (and whatever emotional tone or vibration they wish to experience) while maintaining my center and state of joy.

I think there are a couple people in my life who act like I used to act, or at least act in a way that would trigger a reaction that I used to do. Now that I am more conscious of my inner voice and the triggers that would cause such a reaction, I am now able to thank the voice for its input without bringing it to the forefront and actualize it, perpetuating the situation.

Unfortunately, I am not perfect at this, though why I should expect to be perfect at this new way of doing things I don’t know. In any event, I am usually able to change my attitude and feel better in a matter of moments, rather than letting it splash into other areas of my day, or on anyone else for that matter. With continued practice, I will enjoy myself without having to feel negative emotions except for the briefest of times.

The mantra I keep saying to myself, which I picked up from the Abraham books is this: “I intend to see that which I want to see.” What that means to me is that, for each moment (or segment of intention), I can choose to feel and experience that which I want to, especially the fun and interesting things that I enjoy. And even if the situation is not “ideal” I can still find the aspects which I want to encourage and let the ones I wish to discourage not gain any of my energy. I focus my energy on what I want rather than the lack of it.

So, by being myself, the way I want to be, I am able to feel and experience the energy and situations I want. I hope that by feeling positive and being centered, I am able to help those around me and those I interact with. I can show them that there are other ways to experience the universe and, even though they may want different things than me, they can still enjoy whatever they are doing with joy, love and happiness in their hearts, like I do. And when I don’t, I know I am able to get back to that place easily and with little effort.

The Winds of Change

2009-11-17T15:59:00.000-05:00

The winds of change are upon us this day. We sit here in this trench, but we can all smell it. The air is dank and foul, the blood and death of our countrymen in the field ahead. We’ll be one of them soon enough, when the whistle blows. It is just a matter of time.

I shiver again in my drenched gear. Throughout the day, the rain has been heavy and cold, and there is no cover. I wipe another drip from my forehead, forgetting it will do no good, leaving a muddy and bloody smear where the wet had been.

We’re out of cigarettes and my hands continue to tremble. I assume it is from withdrawals, but I know it is from exhaustion and fear. The vacant eyes of my comrades are mirrors of my own, reflecting the spectre of death which sings softly in the back of our minds.

Waiting is the way of war, and then, of a sudden, the chaos begins again. Another inch of soil taken is another inch given on another day. We hold the line, waiting for the order, waiting for reinforcements, waiting for the enemy’s advance, waiting to die.

The artillery siren sounds and we huddle closer to our dirt wall for what little protection it offers. The explosions and their whistles surround us, deafening, ringing, flashing. One hits nearby, sending mud and gore and shrapnel into our pit. A quick thud and my buddy is dead, hot metal ripping through his neck and jaw. I can smell his flesh cooking as he slumps down, leaning into me as if for one last moment of comfort. He dies in my arms, his eyes lost yet finally at peace.

I look around and see others screaming in pain, or lost and wandering in shock without limbs, and I notice, in the mud wall just behind my head, a strip of grey no more than an inch long, yet curled and sharp, wedged most of the way in. Six inches, the difference between life and death. Six inches closer and I am dead. Six inches away from my buddy and he is alive, holding me in my last breath.

I pluck the shard out, burning the fingertips on my thumb and index finger a little. So small, yet so deadly at the force it was jettisoned at me. I hold it in my palm and roll it over a couple of times, scraping away the dirt.

The cacophony stops. I look up at my fellows, my brethren. The chaos ends and the waiting begins again. Soon, we all know, the retaliation, the call to arms, the offensive.

I ready my weapon and slide the memento into my breast pocket. Perhaps I can show it to my grandchildren, resting on my mantel as a lost memory of a forgotten war for a forgettable cause. Perhaps my mother will keep it in her purse, the forgotten face of her lost child.

I can barely register the high-pitched whistle as it is blown down the line.

I lift my weary body and go over the lip.

Entertainment and Fun

2009-11-16T23:12:00.005-05:00

One of the things I find very fascinating is the diverse ways people are entertained and have fun. Right now, the kids are attacking each other while wearing some lacrosse gear and wrestling around. We just came back from watching Dancing with the Stars at Grammy's house. I also petted some lovely kittens as they came in for the evening and will probably play some video games and read before I go to bed.

I also am glad to have such a great number of choices to choose from. I am enjoying writing these daily blogs (along with a 20 minute stream-of-consciousness writing that Starcat and I are doing daily) as well as drumming, making music, playing games (like old-school Magic card game), and I am gearing my body up to play the next session of soccer at a local indoor sports complex.

My goal, in the next few months, is to create even more interesting and fun activities and events in my life. I want to try something really different for me, like hang-gliding in Brazil, or skydiving in France, or scuba diving in Bermuda, or some other wonderfully fun and interesting things right here at home. I think I will do more skiing this year (and avoid the trampoline this time!).

If anyone has any fun or cool ideas that I might be interested in, let me know! I would love to discover something I can do right now to have even more weird and strange and exciting times. :)

Helping a friend

2009-11-15T19:35:00.003-05:00

I woke up early this morning and went over to my friend's house and helped build a wheelchair ramp to the side door. She broke her ankle while traveling for work in Turkey and would have had a challenging time getting into her house without the ramp.

I am not much of a carpenter myself, but I am quite a good assistant and I learned a good amount of stuff while carrying wood, holding pieces together, clamping, designing, digging, and some other stuff. I had a real fun time today doing that and am thankful to be part of such a great and creative community!

They arrive home tonight at 10 PM and will find out this great surprise when they arrive. We left them a signed note and ribbon to show our love and affection (along with the ramp of course). I wish I could see the look on their faces (hopefully happy ones!) and wish them all the best for her quick recovery!

I am looking forward to creating even more wonderful and thoughtful ideas as the holiday and family season revs up!

Many blessings to all the wonderful people in my life!

Divination and its Tools

2009-11-14T22:10:00.001-05:00

Divination takes many forms: cards, dice, bones, tea leaves, weather, and much more. This basically includes anything that can take on a “random” form, or at least the appearance of randomness. Essentially, the Universe (and our higher self) is able to affect and form messages in a symbolic manner that allows us, with interpretation, to better understand ourselves and our hidden goals and trends.

Someone who gives a reading is usually good at reading a person’s energy and, with the divination tools, is able to help guide the querent towards more understanding. I have found that doing my own divination has helped me understand myself and to see the energies and patterns around me.

I find that I am drifting away from Tarot cards and their interpretations (by many and various authors) and more toward creating a card set that is personal to me, or at least one that has a more positive outlook, rather than the doom and gloom that some card sets portend. I find that the biases and prejudices of these folk are not always in line with where I am right now.

I have already begun to write down thoughts and descriptions of a new card system that I want to add to my repertoire of divination tools. The cards I wish to create have four aspects, symbolic meanings, and a positive way of viewing things (since there are, to me, no negatives, only challenges and opportunities for new understanding).

The four aspects are as follows, using the four sides of a square card (rather than rectangular or circular or some other shape):

The first position is when the face of the card is upright, pointing such that the top of the picture is pointed away from the base of the spread. Traditionally, this is the direct meaning of the card, where the subject of the card is present and observed by the querent. The subject of the card (call its position obverse for now) is “actual” or manifested.

The second is the reverse aspect of the card (the top of the card is facing the bottom of the spread), which means that the querent is resisting or is focusing on the lack of the subject.

In addition, there are two more aspects of divination that I wish to address but are rarely used: one is if the card is turned to the right, which indicates that the subject is entering or starting to manifest in the querent’s life.

And finally, if the card is turned to the left (with the top to the left of the spread) than that energy is subsiding or in the process of being released.

By creating a deck of symbols that are easily recognized (and less mystified) I hope to create a tool that many people will be able to use. Additionally, by using all four directions to divine, it will be possible to do a more fine-tuned reading for those who are seeking a deeper wisdom.