Release

So I have been trying to find ways to release my creative energy and I have come to realize that the one that I thought was a good one, isn't really.

I had thought, and it may have been true in the past, that music was my release. I have come to realize that I am really not that creative when I play music. I used to play drums a lot. I got many of my aggressions out and came up with some good beats, but technically it isn't music, it is more rhythm.

I have been teaching myself the piano and I am not very good. Sure I can play a short bit of some songs that I like, but I am not very creative when it comes to making my own stuff. It could be that I am not familiar enough with the instrument to do it right but I am not really that motivated it seems.

I also learned to play the recorder and the tin whistle (some). I enjoying playing it, but I am a smoker so wind instruments aren't really my thing either. I can make stuff up and it kinda sounds ok but not really music per se.

Anyway, my real releases are my poetry, good and bad ones, and dancing. I am able to just release myself into the beat and just go to town.

Don't get me wrong, I totally love music but I think because I hardly ever listened to music until I was in 8th grade I never got the firm foundation of music and melodies that many others have.

And the other thing is, I don't really pay attention to the performers of the music that much. I know the names of band members of bands I really really like. Otherwise whenever my friends are talking about songs or names of bands or band members, I am pretty clueless.

Ah well, guess I am not really meant for music. I am more of a harmonizer than a lead by far. Maybe I should get drums again...

I have music in my soul, and that's pretty much where it's going to stay.