The art of saying the obvious

I have this way of stating the obvious that, because it is SO obvious it is funny.

It is one of my charming qualities. :)

I am talking with my friend MGB and she got pretty gone last night and woke up drunk.

My suggestion: You should drink some water or something.

I AM Captain Obvious!

Let me explain a little bit about the humorous part of it.

Imagine you are in line at the grocery store and the cashier is ringing up your items. You have: 2 bags of hotdog rolls, a bag of hamburger rolls, hotdogs, hamburg, chicken breasts, chips, soda, condiments etc etc. The cashier says to you, "Having a barbecue huh?" The funny part is them being such a dumbass without realizing they are a dumbass. It is obvious I am having a BBQ.

I, on the other hand, am completely aware of what I am saying. Barring drunkenness of course. :)

Imagine you are in line at the grocery store and the cashier is ringing up your items. Your friend is expecting you to chip in half for the BBQ stuff. He hands me $20 and says, "You all set"? I say, "What's this for?" using a completely deadpan face, as if the money in your hand was some foreign substance or something. Your friend looks at you for a moment as if you had completely lost it or they had done something wrong. Then my smirk comes out and they realize after a beat or two that you are full of shit. They say, "fuck off" or something along those lines. :)

I am known in my circle of friends as a smart ass. I wear it as a badge of honor, a little round red butt on my sleeve.

Anyway, I am so much better in person or even online chat when it comes to humor. Often times this blog sounds so bland or "intelligent" and my humor doesn't come through.

Ah well, I will try to work on it. :)