The Pocket

Well, I was going to call this post "The Zone" but judging from my last post it might be thought of in the wrong way. :) And yes, that was for psuche. :)

Basically I have been in the Pocket for the past week. Actually it started just as I was ending my time at Pennsic and I had 10 hours to reflect on the drive home. I think the exact moment was me listening to Freakwitch on my headphones, looking up at the sunrise and thinking that I am surrounded by love. Good moment! :)

Anyway, the Pocket is a state of sensing yourself in the third person. It happens to me when drumming which allows me to just play rather than thinking about what I need to be playing, which tends to make the music sound wrong (at least to me). I used to draw and when I was in my heyday of drawing I would be amazed at my hand making these really cool drawings without me actively making them do it.

It is essentially a stream-of-subconscious while allowing the conscious to idly enjoy the show.

I know, it is hard to describe and I am poor at conveying it but that is the idea.

Now in that state, I have been totally interested in the interconnectedness and the interaction of people. Most of them don't even realize it and it is somewhat amusing to watch them interact and "see" their connections with each other.

Now I put "see" in quotes because it is not a photon activity type thing, it is more of a sense or feeling. I am not WANTing per se to do this, I just am BEing it. As in, it happens because I am in this Pocket and it allows me this "sense".

Like I said, it is hard to describe.

I have been getting comments lately that I am always smiling (which I am) or that I am more open (which I am).

I think I am just allowing my true self out. Did I mention being a beacon yet? :)

I am still resolving my ego/self-conscious intervening on occasion on my interpersonal interactions (talking with people) but that whole fear and misgivings thing is definitely fading if not completely gone in many situations. (Woot and I got to use three inter- prefixes in that sentence!)

Ah well, time to head off to dinner and band practice to do more Pocketing (so to speak). :)