Hello!
As you may or may not know I have returned from Pennsic. The only reason you would know and not know me personally is because I have updated my blog. :)
Anyway, I have a mind to discuss something other than Pennsic in my return post and it mainly has to do with Psuche's recent entries, well recent to me anyways. :)
I have been thinking a lot recently about what my role or place is in this great universe and of course many other people do as well.
There is only one way one can know the universe and that is through their own perceptions.
I have tried very hard in the past to understand where other people are coming from and what reactions they will give if given any particular situation. I usually would run through all the possible scenarios and end up doing nothing because one of the scenarios I would come up with would be bad.
Unfortunately, inaction is an action and would have a negative effect nonetheless, usually nothing positive would happen and occasionally worse, a bad response.
Anyway, at Pennsic I often did that same process and did a lot of inaction. And of course, nothing good came of it. Which brings me to where I am now.
I have found that while being empathetic is important, it is not the final answer to how to interact with people.
It has taken me a long time to just BE.
Now the path I took has been long and hard and is still not perfect, what is? But I have been TRYing and that is the mistake I have been making all along.
I wasn't BEing my self, I was TRYing to be someone for other people. Now my egoist route was a big step in the right direction and has helped me see better my path.
If I can just BE all the time, then what I want to accomplish and what I need to do is clear.
In my mind, I am a beacon of light and love and if I stop blinding everyone from my true self then people will want to be in the light and the love. Sure, that sounds all nice and fluffy and stuff but I believe it is my path. I must stop TRYing to be the light and love, I just AM.
So my friends and family know that beacon in part because I allow it and I want them to share in that light and love. But now I think it is time to let the beacon shine unshuttered.
In any event, these words probably aren't very meaningful to anyone other than me, but I had to say them for myself. You just happen to be reading them. :)
So the next beacon of light and love that you see, will be me. Hopefully I won't blind you! :)
Until then, avoid distraction and enjoy life or it will pass by and you will be forgotten.
3 comments:
This is interesting. I'm think about the opposition between being an empath, and being an egoist, and the choice that navigates the two.
For me, being an empath isn't so much a choice, it's just part of my own equation of being. I'm sensitive to emotional energy in my environment; the question is, what do I do with this sensitivity?
Which is funny, because all the "positive" qualities of being an empath (aww, he's so feeling! He's so compassionate!) is in one sense just my own drive for egoism, so that I can get some freakin' peace in my reality! heh!
But yeah, "just being" is of course easier said than done. For me, it helps to think about masks; which "mask" do I don in different situations? And once I put my finger on such a mask, I must drop it, so that I am the same JWL in every situation.
Good stuff....
I agree, it is about taking your "faces" or "masks", recognizing them and getting rid of them.
I had used them a lot in the past because I didn't want anyone to see the real me, or to only see parts of me.
Well, I have to disagree with Psuche here. (Hey, sweetpea! *mwah*) I think it is VERY hard to "just be yourself" - mainly because we haven't been given any guidebook on just how to DO that. From age tee-tiny and up, we've been taught what's "appropriate" action in any given situation, therefore, this whole idea of "just being yourself" comes down to an act of letting go of all the luggage (and fannypacks and trunks and hats, etc.) that we insist on carrying around. And, as JWL has recently pointed out to me, this carrying around of luggage is, well... addictive. We almost CRAVE carrying it because we are frightened of the alternative. And so our quest becomes: Do you have the COURAGE to just drop everything and fucking FIND OUT who's left? And that's scary, man.
I would also like to respectfully disagree with this idea of "the only people that are important are the ones that can recognize your virtuous qualities and come to you." This ideal invalidates the very NECESSARINESS (new word) of compassion. We MUST come to terms with the fact that we are all interconnected. If we cannot do this, we are, in essence, denying parts of ourselves. And without that understanding, we will continue to not shine (to use a Baronism) as brightly as we could. And THIS, I fear, is what separates us from ourselves and, hence, the Divine.
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