Thursday, September 15, 2005

Alcohol Mask

So I have come to the conclusion that I am not a big fan of alcohol any more.

Last night I was in a really fun great mood and then had a couple beers.

By the end of it I was very quiet and sorta brooding.

It brought me down from my normal high into a little cycle of negative. And I am very aware of those moments now.

It appears that I am ready to remove another mask that says "I have to drink to have a good time" since I am now almost always having a good time. :)

My social circles usually involve alcohol to one degree or another and it will be interesting to see how my relationships change to accommodate my removal of this mask.

I go out very frequently, so not having alcohol when I go out won't be difficult but it will be different.

In the long run, it will most likely save money and my beer gut will slowly go down without the constant influx of sugar. But that's neither here nor there.

It really is about finding all the things that make my life negative, no matter how small, and getting rid of the mask that makes me need or want those things.

I never really drank that much to begin with AND it takes a lot to get me in the "happy" drunk area. All else is hit or miss negative feelings.

Time to move on it seems.

5 comments:

JWL said...

I'm not a fan of being drunk, or really even tipsy. Put it this way, if it's an altered state of consciousness I'm after, alcohol usually isn't it...

Having said that, I do enjoy a really well-crafted ale or a nice glass of wine on occasion. But it's been a long time since I've imbibed to the extent that my consciousness is affected.

Anonymous said...

Baron,
That's really cool; really fine-tuned noticing. I've noticed similar things, mostly with particular foods (seems to be dairy and sugar, for me), that when I'm really paying attention to my energy system, it becomes obvious which things my body doesn't want or need.

Thanks for the dancing last night, that was so much fun!!!
Nikki

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I remember when I finally decided that I was done doing things because "it was the thing to do". After not drinking EVERY time I go out (or smoking or do any other kind of drug), I realize that I'm just here with myself - and that's sometimes hard... sometimes preferred.

I love that you're listening to yourself and am fascinated at where this will take you!!!

BB!!

Unknown said...

Yes, alcohol is a way for people who are too worried about what other people think to let go of those worries.

I guess I don't care about those worries that much. :)

I still tell stupid jokes regardless of the reaction. Sure, some people don't enjoy them and heck most people don't all the time but I do anyways.

But what the fuck, why should I have to "relax" by using alcohol?

I don't. :) And I won't.

Am I "quitting"? No.

There is nothing to quit.

I choose not to do something that makes me feel shitty sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Hey Brent, Max here... sorry for posting off topic. I lost your contact info.

Gimmie a call about your band project, will ya?

207-874-6406