Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Indifference and Competition

Technically, I have not posted a blog for November 30th, but, as Starcat says, "it's not a new day until you go to sleep." So here I am at 12:30 AM writing my blog. Also, since I don't go to bed until 1 or 2 AM usually, then it is not really cheating either! :)

Now on to the blog...

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I am losing my taste for competition and watching competitive sports. I am finding the anger and frustration when my team does "poorly" or the refs make a "bad call" to be the antithesis to what I want to build and strive for. In the past, I was much more competitive and would get into terribly violent verbal tirades and shouting at my the poor inanimate television.

The only way I have found to "combat" these feelings from welling up is to be indifferent to the outcome of the match. Which really goes against the grain of these sort of events in the first place. Rabid fandom makes money for these businesses and the accompanying merchandising keeps the momentum going.

Now, I am not saying that sports are "evil" or "bad." Frankly, I am tired of the whole process in general. I do not want to tie my emotional enjoyment of life on whether my team "wins" or "loses," or makes a "good" or "bad" play. Those are all value judgments and I am feeling the desire to let all of those go.

Instead, I am planning to replace these feelings with more cooperative and constructive ways of being with friends. I think what I want to do instead is have more get-togethers and plan more events that do not necessarily include watching sports together. The main reason I want to do these events is for the camaraderie and all the fun jokes and silliness we do together.

Now that I am outside of the situation, I can see that my actions and the words and feelings I am having are not really conducive to what I want. I think, instead, I will focus more on my friends and the company I am keeping, rather than the outcome or situation in any of the games or sports I am a part of.

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