Fabrication of your self to other people, or putting up a front, or trying to control situations can work, but it is very time consuming and can lead down a road that is hard to get off. The lies, or at least falsehoods, have a tendency to keep on rolling and become more and more intricate. It takes a lot of energy just trying to remember what you had said to cover your previous lies.
I have a solution.
Be your self.
I know, it sounds simple but it really takes a lot of resolve and training to not cover your self up. Fear of rejection, ridicule, judgment, foolishness, basically of what other people think is a driving force in why we lie. It takes a lot of up front energy to break that fear and to know that you are who you are and it doesn't matter what other people think.
Your friends will like and love you for who you are regardless of your downfalls. Anyone who doesn't accept you for who you are really aren't your friends. It's very simple. It's realizing that fact that will help you become more comfortable just being your self.
Recently I came to that realization and it has really liberated me from my fear. I really am a great person. If you don't think I am, then you are not really my friend. :) Not trying to pass judgment on you or anyone, just a fact.
By far it takes less energy and effort to overcome your fears than to keep the lies straight and the shield up.
The only other part about that is to know who to reveal yourself to. Granted, not to just anyone, because that can definitely be used against you or to try to take advantage of you. Learning who to trust can be a task in itself, but if you give people the benefit of the doubt until they fuck it up then the less energy you have to spend on them.
Just be yourself and the fear and worry will go away. I have struggled with the realization the past week or so but am more secure now in that knowledge than anything I have known before.
Go me! :)
1 comment:
i think social & business must sort of be seperated in this because one wrong word at work can get you fired.
but socially, i'm as myself as i can be, and if people don't like it, fuck 'em. actually when people don't like it i often become amused by them (strangers in reference here). and then become annoying towards them cause i like to see their hackles rise. (i'm a bit of a bastard) but on the flip side i'm straigt up with people and my friends appreciate it, even if the truth i give is hard to hear. (and i can only give my truth, but sometimes even finding out someones truth is different from yours can be hard.) for me i've never really been any other way and it seems to work(or maybe not).
also if you are yourself & honest it becomes harded to get hurt by people, for you put yourself out there and not anything else. and yourself really is the strongest thing there is in you. it is what holds up all that you are. and no words or actions of another can ever be used to 'use you' against yourself if you're honest.
or i'm a fuck head, one of the two.
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