Wallow and to wallow

Wallow and to wallow
As my heart desires
And is never able to grasp
As usual it is so
For my desires and my loves
Are never real
Only my imagination

Forever it is to be
Alone and to be alone
For it is my pathetic lot in life
Yay for me
And all who know me
Pity me for I need it
But pity is the thing I wish not

Why me you ask?
Perhaps because my heart
Is so full of love
Unrequited love
Forever alone but never alone
Only my thoughts
But always the temptation
To be loved

My heart’s ache
As usual and as forever
It hurts enough sometimes
But there is always room
For more of the ache
Because that is all I get

Damn it all to hell
And back again
Why bother?
It is a lost cause
As usual
But to be unfeeling
Is to be not human any longer
Too bad for you
Who do not see
What I am and can be

Take not pity for me
I cannot bear it much longer
I can only be me
And to be anything else
Would be to fake
Or to folly
As the case may be

Forgive me my faults
For they are strong
And they are deep
Yet they are not all that I am
They are but a portion
Of who I am
And who I am yet to be.

One more drink
And my pain will subside
At least until
The consciousness of my stupor
Awakens me once more
To my solitude
Damn it I say
And with that
The next pain awaits.