Circle

I stand quietly in the sacred circle, my hands in my pocket and my breath steaming whitely into the cold. I am waiting my turn to speak and patiently listening to those around me telling of their journey and their path. Usually, I am reserved and do not speak out very often, but today I have chosen to speak my truth to more than just myself.

In the past, I would say "blessed be" after each person would finish their story and shake my head when my turn was up. Each one was gracious in my negation, but they each, at other times, have spoken to me about my kindness and joy of life. I am an introvert by nature but when I am in trusted company, I give of myself freely and easily.

Today, in this circle, I feel different. I have a confidence and knowing that is transcending my fears and doubts about myself. I am really worth listening to and I have information and knowledge that others will wish to know. Perhaps this season, because of its warmer weather, except for this chilly night, has given me more time to think about myself while still enjoying nature and the clear night sky.

I try to remain focused on each speaker and give my full attention, but my excitement to speak next seems to be too powerful to ignore. I have something to say, and I am anxious to say it. I hope it is taken well and I hope that the others will be kind in their listening and acceptance of this knowledge. Perhaps they are focused on the other speaker as I should be, or, what if they are focused more on their own thoughts than the words of others?

The circle is quiet and the many eyes of my friends, family, and coven mates now turn to me. I can see that others are looking to the next person in the round as if I am expected to acquiesce and bow out once again. My cheeks flush and the words and knowledge that I am so excited to share begin to jumble and mix together. I don't remember the practiced beginning line and the rest is a mere shadow, boxing with itself off into the night.

I lower then shake my head slowly. Sympathetic eyes look at me for but a moment more then turn to the next in line.

"Perhaps next time," I think to myself, dejected a little in my nervousness.